It’s The Final Countdown…

TKZee – Shibobo (With Crowd) Final Countdown – YouTube

When I hear that song boy does my heart expand! I just start moving to the beat and I am back in some Sports Arena in South Africa and wow! I don’t think you will find any South African that doesn’t just love this song and wanna get up and do some kind of dance to it. In my mind I can get down and do the Kwasa Kwasa…but I doubt I look anything like the way it should be…

New Tutorial Kwasa kwasa ⭐️ Technique⭐️ for beginners African dance Kuduro 🇦🇴 – Bing video

Okay so just looked at the lyrcis and I cannot use them at all for how Iam feeling…which is  well and some  and a lot of 

In a few hours I am seeing the Psychiatrist so he can make sure that I am fit enough to have the Bariatric Op.  Now if I am being truly honest, I have tried to lose weight and get fit but I haven’t tried nearly hard enough so I haven’t lost much and just some minor movements can get my heart racing and gets be building up a sweat. I am sure I can do what needs to be done and I am so ready and wanting this op.

I am at which isn’t a great loss, considering in August I was at but just last week I was …so it is something, but I want more.

I keep looking back at how I told the Endocrinologist that I wanted to weight . And now when I get to that weight, I would be happy but considering my height is , I will still be overweight at. So when I get to I mustn’t stop, and I must keep pushing till I get to 

I often wonder if I was thinner and had the attention of men…well good looking and professional men, not the crummy guys that I do get winks from…. anyway…if I had all that and more confidence would I still be in the relationship that I am in? I love my husband and I see my future with him, but he isn’t enough. His drinking and personal stature is a huge issue. When he has those days, which seem to be happening often these days, I question a lot. I question my marriage, him, our lives…honestly, I want out and look at myself and the life that I have chosen, and I question if I am just settling by being with him. But then we have great times, where my love for him is so much and I cannot see myself with anyone else. I often wonder if he thinks since I am fat no one else will really want me and so he figures it is okay for him to serve the bare minimum in our relationship. Maybe me losing weight will be good for him too…

Anway…I woke up in a good mood this morning…I was dancing in the car while the radio played some poppy music, and so I am going to keep on this good mood.