Tomorrow everything changes

I either find out I failed the bar for the third time…

Or that I passed.

Either way I don’t get to just spend my entire day enjoying baby cuddles. I have to figure out what I’m doing. How I’m getting a job, how I’m making money.

I have to do something from home. I can’t leave my baby. I don’t even want to work at all. I do. But I don’t. I don’t know how to reconcile these feelings.

I don’t think I passed. And I know how hurt I’m going to feel if I failed. I’m sad already. We need the money, and I need to work. But I need be home with my baby. I’m sad. This sucks.