Ever Tried Sleeping With a Broken Heart?

Happy New Year OD Fam:

Well, Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart, you should try sleeping in my bed.  Cold Turkey didn’t work for Myles and I but talking here and there doesn’t feel good either.  It just makes us sad and  lonely.  I am tired of crying but I love him so much and my heart is so broken.  I thought I would be over him/this by now but I realize that I am truly in love, not lust but love. 

I am so angry with him because we are not together but at the same time I can’t hate him because he is so sweet.  He has loved me in ways that no man has ever loved me.  He has always treated me like a queen and that is part of why this is so hard.  I don’t know, for the longest I think I was in the mindset of if it is meant to be, we will be.  But, I cannot think like that because I think I cannot truly move on.  He was such a huge part of my life.  We are best friends.  I went to a wedding yesterday, his cousin, my friend so all the family was there and it is just so hard.  They love me, my family loves him, they all love they idea of us, I love the idea of us but it just can’t be. 

I cried so much in 2009 just from hurt and frustration that I could probably cause a flood and here we are in 2010 and the tears haven’t stopped.  We talked about what was hard for us last night and that just brought on more tears.  Time heals all wounds they say..How much time is time?  Looking forward to the day when I can update that I am engaged, or better yet married or better yeat happily married with children.  When will my time come?

Thanks for Reading