Updates..Blah.Blah

Hello Everyone:

Thanks for all the notes of support.  I will note everyone individually but I have been a little lazy and preoccupied (if that makes sense).  First off, I never was a computer user from home.  I always used the computer from work and my home time is just to chill, sleep, watch tv, and entertain friends so it is extremley hard to come in here and actually use the computer when there are so many great things on TV that I never get to watch because I have had a job for forever! 

Anyway, I am still relieved that my stay at the job is over!  At the same time the pressure is on to find another job and I think I am not being as proactive as I need to be.  The days go by pretty fast and it seems that on some days I have not accomplished much.  I did take Mr. A’s advise and go to the Department of Labor to claim unemployment and they also had some pretty good job leads so we will see what happens.  The whole job searching thing sucks ass big time!  I hate it!  I don’t want to just sit here and just hope something just miracoulously comes through but it is so hard to get up and get out and most times I don’t even know where to go but I feel like I need to go somewhere and do something.

My ex-best friend Carlos is unemployed too.  He got fired a couple of months ago and we have been talking a lot and hanging out and I am just like, Wow is this what it took to get my best friend back??  He is soo great and I missed him so much and vice versa.  He and his wife even spent Christmas with my family and she is pregnant.  It’s crazy because a couple of months ago he was waiting for my go ahead to leave her and now they are going to be a big happy family.  Me and him spent most of Saturday together because he was doing some work around my mother’s house and he didn’t want me to leave.  It was great.  We ran errands together and bought all my femine products just like old times, LOL!!  He is a perfect gentleman.  He always opens every door (including the car door) and the whole nine I hope his wife appreciates him.  It’s good to chill with him but I won’t expect much because it really hurt when  he felt he had to choose between me and his wife and I lost. 

The guys in my life are ..Whatever!  I am so tired and I don’t know.

Steve- Steve and I have been chilling pretty regulary and having lots of great sex and spending days and nights together and I have even cooked for us.  It’s crazy, I don’t even know why I am playing this game.

Bert-Loser…I haven’t talked to him in a while and then all of a sudden yesterday he texts me a message like "Happy New Year ..How are you?" I didn’t respond back.  I want to but ..For what?? I can’t deal. I mean I was at my breaking point I even considered texting him but now that he texted me I am calmer.   I want to talk but what conversation should we have?  We sleep together, it’s great, you shut me out and ..I just..Whatever!  I feel sooo stupid because I want to talk to him but moreso I want to show him that we can’t have sex again because we are not a couple and he is to on and off.  I hate that I don’t hate him.  Whatever, I am the loser!

Ron- The new guy who I don’t really like.  I think I pushed him away.  For Christmas he bought me a really nice Perry Ellis perfume set.  We were supposed to hook up different dates either I can’t or I don’t call or he changes the time (which pisses me off because I am like ..I don’t even like him..he needs to stick with the time).  We were supposed to hook up and he was supposed to call me back.  He didn’t.  Can’t say that I care. He will eventually call, they always do!  No harm, no foul.  My  sister and friends thinks he’s great and cute (they met him) and I should give him a chance so they care more than I do.

Thanks for reading, I have been feeling so like Blah!  I don’t know, not like depressed or anything just like I don’t know like whatever!  No drive, no get up and go..So complacent.  I will keep you all posted!

  Comments Appreciated!