Dear Omax Customers,

Really? Really?!?! COME THE HELL ON! I dont understand how stupid you are sometimes.

Customer: HELP!!! I made all these copies… But I only wanted 5. What do you I with the rest?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DO WITH THOSE COPIES YOU DONT WANT?! Throw them the hell away! There are TWO perfectly good trash cans right there available for you do to so.

 

Customer: So, I tried making a copy but the page just came out blank. I dont think your machine is working.

REALLY?!?! DID YOU NOT SEE THE HUGE RED ARROW ON THE TOP RIGHT CORNER POINTING TO WHERE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR PAPER TO COPY IT?! How the HELL do you miss that?! ITS HUGE! YOU CANT MISS IT! GOD. So.. when you see the arrow… do you just ignore it… and out the paper on the OTHER side?!? Or do you just not care and dont want to follow directions? Because I can do that too… I can overcharge you for your copies… or how about I just not obey the laws on drunk driving or texting while driving… HMMMMM?!

 

Customer: Hi, can I check out here?!

NO YOU MOTHER FUCKING CANT BITCH! This is the COPY CENTER! I will laminate something for you, create a booklet or invitation, make copies in black/white or color or even create you a business card. BUT I WILL NOT CHECK YOU OUT WHEN THERE ARE TWO PERFECTLY GOOD CASHIERS ABOUT 20 FEET AWAY. I HAVE SHIT TO DO. LEAVE ME ALONE. kaythanks. But since I have to.. and Im NICE… I guess I will do it. But I’ll remember you… oh yes I will.

 

Customer: Hey there missy, I wanna return this but I dont have the receipt, the packaging and I think I bought it like… 2 years ago.

DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT CAME OUTTA YOUR MOUTH?! NO! I dont fucking care what our policy says, bitch, Im not doing. Oh you want to talk to a manager now… HE’S GONNA SAY THE SAME THING BITCH. So take your 2 year old nasty used most likely broken stapler elsewhere you hag!

 

Customer: *puts things on counter to be checked out* Oh.. We decided not to get this.

THEN PUT THAT SHIT BACK! YOU KNEW YOU DID WANT IT SO WHY THE FUCK PUT IN IT YOUR CART OR BASKET AND BRING IT UP!? Now you’re creating more work for us to do and you just made yourself look stupid.

 

Customer: Hi, where are the pens? Envelopes? Protractors? And lets see.. Oh yes, copy paper, the cheapest kind?

HOLY SHIT?! Do you have eyes because there is no motherfucking way you do. There are about 6 BILLION signs throughout this god forsaken store that point you directly into the direction of all that shit you need for your shitty ass company. Take the eyes God supposily gave you and LOOK. Im also not your personal shopper so stop following me around the store asking me questions on shit you probably cant compehend anyways cause your a major dumbass.

 

Please, either dont enter my store or read this and dont do the dumb shit stated.

Thanks!

-Stephanie