IDEA 504 thoughts

So yesterday during my job application portion of my day, I applied for a role at an organization. It had one of those GODAWFUL applications where you upload a resume. Then enter all the info manually into their system (from the resume you just uploaded!). Then tell them why you left each job you’ve ever had, just to see if you’re stupid enough to trash any awful former employer you may have had. Then you get to answer more questions, and a few more, and most of them are not even remotely relevant to the position or you or anything. And you can’t stop even for a snack or you know the whole thing’ll crash and then you’ll have to start over. Anyway, then you get to upload a cover letter, then manually enter the cover letter text. Then you get to answer some more questions! One of them was about disabilities, specifically asking a candidate to DISCLOSE them right then and there. There was a note that they “have a commitment to hiring” a certain percentage of disabled people as part of their diversity commitment or some such.

None of my current disabilities are visually apparent (OK so a lot of us neurodivergent folk can recognize our own people with some caveats, but ya know, we at least like to hope you neurotypicals have no idea, cuz y’all hate us).  I learned in college and early jobs that disclosing learning disabilities and neurodivergence was a bad idea. Oh sure ADA/IDEA/504 grand beautiful things and we love them! But in real life situations, people are assholes. When asking for accommodations, I quickly learned that neurotypicals go immediately from, “you’re a smart, competent, valuable, valid, capable person, though maybe a bit odd,” to “oh you’re a stupid baby, stupid baby need an apple sauce? Stupid baby no no belong here!”  They literally flip a switch and baby talk, and god help you if you push further for accommodations.  (Why yes, I really should have sued my shitty university so many times for so many reasons. I hate them).   Anyway, I’ve never disclosed any of this to an employer or instructor since I was about eh 20?

I stared at the page asking about disabilities seeing a few of mine spelled out in the list. I stared at it some more. Then I did a very brave and stupid thing, and filled out the form and checked the yes box.  Because what if things are different in this state? I mean if they don’t interview me because of that yes box, fuck them, right? Maybe I dodge a bullet. But I thought, what if their determination to hire a certain percentage of disabled people actually gives me some sort of edge? It never has before, but the world is weird, who knows?

Today, on my walk, I started thinking, what if they do hire me, and what if I get accommodations like I did back in school with my IEP? And then I thought about what that might look like: accommodations that would actually help me be more productive, effective, organized, and successful. I realized that some of that are the things I already do now, but I didn’t do back in my last office job. I realized that for some of it, I can set up in an office environment by myself on the down-low if need be in my next job (my current job doesn’t require any of this, too bad about the pay, it’d otherwise be the perfect job).

I’ll probably keep trying to learn how to fake my way into looking neurotypical–ha! And I won’t tell anyone about my learning disabilities and other stuff, because I’m usually not stupid. My whole takeaway is that I’ve figured out some systems (not shiny new ones that will work for a week and then get thrown out, but systems I’ve been using at home for a few years) and how to bring them into a different environment.  And if I get that gig where I disclosed, then I get to try out a 504 plan for grown ups, maybe.