chipping away

The last few weeks would be best forgotten. I had a sinus infection. I hurt my upper shoulder and upper arm muscle gardening. And I chipped a back molar. The sinus infection eventually cleared up with antibiotics. Plus I’m trying a new regimen of Flonase and Zyrtec to reduce allergy symptoms which generally lead to sinus issues.  So far, so good. But the weather has been warm and dry. I’ll see what happens when the rains come and the molds bloom. The muscle pain was unexpected. And it would radiate into the back of my head. Throbbing pain. Miserable. Hot pad and Tylenol. After a week and a half, it is slowly getting better. And the chipped tooth – well, I didn’t see that coming. Eating a chunky peanut butter sandwich and boom. A jagged gaping hole in the back molar. But no pain or bleeding. So tomorrow I go in to find out what can be done. I’m beginning a series of dental procedures anyway, so I’ll just add this to the expenditure list. Insurance definitely doesn’t pay for all dental work.

So all of this, plus a whole lot more. I haven’t heard from my daughter since my spouse got into an argument with her. But literally, I was in the middle of it because my spouse won’t just call and talk like an adult. He makes me text her with info and she has to respond. He makes me the middleman in so many of his family issues. I would have been better off if he had just been a sperm donor. I’m not sure if I’ll hear from her again at this point. Frankly, I don’t blame her. My spouse has alienated his sister, our son, multiple friends, churches we used to attend, co-workers…..

But today, he was complaining because I was crabby. I didn’t want to do anything. He then double downed that we have to do things together, like volunteer or go to church. Well, buddy, you’ve burned bridges in several churches and while we do volunteer at a local church to serve a meal once a week, I’m not crazy about doing that sort of thing. I don’t hate it, but it’s not my favorite. He knows this, but he needs to control something, anything. And yep, I don’t want to do things with him because he’s not fun. He can’t relax. And why should I be happy? He’s driven away family. I don’t have the joy of spending time with my son or daughter. Can’t visit my sister-in-law. Can’t attend certain churches anymore. He gaslights so much, I think Exxon might contact him about a job. And after a month of physically not feeling well, he’s upset because I don’t do anything. Well, F-U, little man. I’ve spent decades watching you complain about Hep-C, prostate issues, diabetes and how you couldn’t do anything because of it. (unless it involved fishing). Hypocritical twit.

Okay, I’m done complaining.