Tuesday 8/30/22

12:03am I’m still in my wheelchair. This makes nineteen straight hours. But I’m not tired. I had such a good day I hate to see it end. I had a great time reading my book last night. I finished most of chapter 3 in Battle Cry of Freedom.Then I spent a good bit of time looking at books on Amazon. I added several to my wish list. 

I see more books I’d lke to buy everytime I visit Amazon. One ogf my biggest problems is there are too many books in the world while I have very little money. I have had a life long love affair with books and whenever I see one that interests me I got to have it. 

It is an addiction and I just can’t help myself. I swear I go through withdrawal symptoms when I have no money for books. I get that edgy feeling one gets when they crave a nicotine fix. It is a terrible feeling and it makes it impossible to to resist the urge. 

The only thing that keeps me going is I have three days until SS Day. Then I can take care of business and buy the six hours books I’ve been wanting to get. I keep counting the days. Tuesday. Wednesday , and Thursday then I will have my check on Friday. After paying the rent and buying books I will be broke again. But I will have six or seven new books!

Well I just rang the call light. I hope the aides come soon to put me to bed as it is I won’t get much sleep tonight. I’ll be up at five this morning. Then I’ll be sleeping all day. 

6:31am I was up most of the night. I got in bed around 12:30. I couldn’t sleep because of arthritis pain and ladder issues? I had to a few incontinence episodes but couldn’t get help. I called the front desk but they didn’t send anyone down.

I’m in my wheelchair now. Aides got me up at 5:30. I tried calling Chocolatechip only to find my phone enot working.i pushed myself to the nurse’s station. I pushed their phone. We continued our conversation ersation on messenger.

It seems I’m having all kinds of problems today in addition to the usual crap I  sure could use a shot of whiskey and a proza

7:57am I just finished my breakfast. I had two blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, oatmeal cereal. two coffees and a glass of oj. I feel better after eating. I would feel even better if I had a working now phone. I feel lost without one because I can’t talk to Chocolatechip.

I woke up feeling very anxious about my finances. Then my phone not working only added to the problem. I kept thinking I won’t be able to pay bills on the third. This thought rolled over and over in my head. I kept thinking nursing home and credit cards will be after me for their money. I only hope I have a working phone by Friday. 

1:32pm I had chicken enchiladas,corn, rice and pudding for desert. For drinks I had two coffees and two fruit punches for desert. Lunch was good and it perked me up

I didn’t have a very good morning. I felt very depressed and tired. I slept on my wheelchair a lot. I felt That is kind of dep kind of lost with no working phone. Maintenance is supposed to bring me a phone but so far they are a no show. I think I’m going through the month blues. Still check day won’t be much better better. My SS will be gone in an inst any and I will be broke again. 

 They are supposed to be moving me to another room? Lady from the nursing home talkedyvto me about it She said they want to make this room a show room for prospective residents. That was around e!even. But so far I don’t know what is going on

This has been kind of a shitty day. It is not fun being g in a nursing homes I miss my freedom. I was telling Chocolatechip I miss getting up when I want and going to  bed when I want. Sometimes I feel that I was sentenced to life when I came here.

3:29pm  I am in my new room. I do not like it one bit. For one thing I have very tight quarters. Then I have no phone TV or night table. I don’t like moving and miss my old room. I had things set up the way I liked it. This new room sucks.

I was talking with Chocolatechip on Messenger. We talked about different subjects. She said she spent a lot of time on the phone with SS. Then she filled out an application for this waver program! She said that she was very difficult. Then she said her friend from Steubenville called. Hid dad passed away. I felt pad about that. 

I was going on about being depressed.wad feeling very down. I think I attributed the depression to end of month blues and lack of sleep. Chocolatechip tried to cheer me up. She went on that I am in a safe place and getting good care. She pointed out that I am not homeless  I am aware of all this and amj very grateful. This has been a very shitty day.

5:33pm I just finished chatting with with Chocolatechip on Messenger. She has a busy day tomorrow bSop she wanted to go to bed early. I feel a bit better after our chat. Plus I had my supper coffee and fruit punch that was nice and hot 

My new room  is causing me to be claustrophobic. I complained at the nurse’s station about it. I don’t expects results. I just needed to let them know about my situztion and vent my frustrations. 

6:15 pm I had a good supper and am in better spirits. I had two sloppy joes, potato peals and broccoli soup. It was pretty good and I ate it all. 

Maintenance never came with a phone. I’m going to have a talk with the social worker tomorrow. I hate to complain but I need a phone. I need one by Friday so I can pay my bills. I guess the squeeky wheel gets the grease. 

.I didn’t get a chance to read yet. Too much was going on and I couldn’t concentrate. I hope I can read some tonight but I’d like to get to bed early. I can’t afford too many long days like today. 

10:51pm I had a good relaxing evening. I read a good deal I finished reading Chapter 4 & 5 in my book Battle Cry of Freedom. i read for a three hrs  straight beginning at 7:00. I read for about three hours taking a couple snack breaks. I’m kind of proud of myself because I accomplished my reading goals for the day.

It is eleven o’clock. I have been in this chair for 18  hrs. I’m not tired though . In fact I feel wound up right now. I could stay up all night reading my book But that will only wreck up my day. I have things to do such as speak to the social worker. 

I’m getting used to my new room. I’m not so sure I like my roommate though. He yelled at me for playing my tablet too loud. It wasn’t any louder than his TV. I think he also said to get on my side of the room. I was by the sink listening to my book. But I moved back towards the wall. We haven’t spoken since then. That is ok by me. 

I also don’t like one of the aides I had tonight. I needed my briefs changed. She proceeded to get my bed ready y.  I saidd I needed changed. She said she will do that when I’m ready for bed.Why couldn’t she change me regardless if I’m going to bed or not?

Well. I’m dead tired now. Time for another nap