Monday 8/22/22

7:44am Well, I’m up and faced with another day in the nursing home. I had a bad night because of incontinence episodes. I think I peed myself on the hour every hour. I was also in a lot of arthritis pain. Pain was focused in my legs but it seemed my entire body ached. I had great care though. I had a very nice of aide who came in to change my briefs whenever I rang the call light. She gave me a good sponge bath and got me in my wheelchair by five?

I called Chocolatechip shortly after I got up. She was already up going through her morning routines and getting ready for a Dr C appointment. Emotive care is pickingb her up at nine. We talk briefly complaining ahout our nights. Chocolatechip had diahrea and was up a couple of times. I told her about my pain I then had a meltdown because she my shoulders ached so bad By then drinks were coming and we saythour goodbyes.

I got my drinks for breakfast. I had two cups of hot coffee and a glass of njuicekcoffee always makes me feel better. Breakfast was also good. I had French toast, scrambled eggs.and oatmeal. I was feeling a lot better after I had food and coffee!

Chocolatechip called. I said I had my coffee and breakfast so I feel better. I also said shoulder pain subsided.. I talked about the care I’m getting. It seemed overall care has improved since I talked with the social worker. Squeeky wheel gets the the grease I said. She was waiting for her hair to dry. We didn’t talk too l She talked about having to put in another work order I forget what for this time.  Chocolatechip wanted to know if she could while out. I said yes, of course. Then we said our goodbyes.

12:00 i was talking to Chocolatechip. She was talking to Noor an who told her Wayne died. I truly fee bad. We were not so always on good terms. He could be an asshole at times.g But we go back for over twenty some years, ever since I moved into OT. Chocolatechip said he died from Covid.h Itruly feel sad. Despite our disagreement ents and arguments Wayne was my friend.

Funny I was just thinking about my own death last night. I was going on that I do not have too much longer to live. Then death strikes this morning taking one of my friends. You never know when death is going to call.

Other than that bit of sad news I had a good morning. I slept in my wheelchair. Pain was at a minimum. I had a major incontinence episode for which I am not getting any help. Aides are out delivering lunch trays so they are all busy. BTW I had lasagna, tossed salad and a cake for lunch

Well ten more days till I get my SS check  I’m revising my budget so I can resubscribe to the New York Times. SS check $860-$583 for rent leaves At $277-‘$177 for Capital One and $107.00 for Credit One. I should have enough to subscribe to the Times and get those two books  Fairy Tales by Stephen King and The 6:20 Man by David Baldacci I miss the damned paper I think this is the final version of my September Budget

3:13pm I’m not having a very good day. I finally got my briefs changed after sitting urine since lunch. I’m also bummed out about Wayne passing. I never thought I’d feel this way  about him because he used to give me a very hard time. We used to be friends. He and an older lady, Helen., Would come to my apartment for coffee. That was fun we would crack jokes and carry on all morning. I’m truly sorry we all fell out of favor. But I’m glad I talked to him when he came to the nursing home.

I did a lot of sleeping this afternoon. I was tired. It seems like all I do anymore is sleep and I’m tired I all the time I slept a lot in the morning as well. I was up a good bit last night because of incontinence but I did sleep. Then it seems no matter how much sleep I get I’m always tired. I don’t like it is one bit and this is one reason why I don’t think I have long to live.

Chocolatechip called.  She took the bus to Shop and She bought a few grocery items. I guess she wanted to get out of the building. I can’t say as I blame her. We talked about her caregiver? The caregiver”s daughter is very ill. The caregiver is trying to get on the waver program. She will get paid for taking care of her daughter. If that happens she will quit her present job.

I haven’t  done any reading. I read a lot  ast night. I read a lot last night. I completed Chapter fifteen in What Hath God Wrought by Daniel Walker Howe. It seems I read a lot after supper.This is about the only time I am alert enough to concentrate. Last night I stayed up until after ten reading. I hope to finish the next chapter tonight.

It is 4:20 right now. I’m struggling to stay awake.  I could use a cup of coffee rightanbout now. But they won’t be serving coffee until supperl

6:43pm I had two egg salad sandwiches and a cup of vegetable soup for supper. It was ok, better than going hungry. They also served beets but I can’t stand beets. I had watermelon for desert. Then I had two cups of hot t coffee and and a fruit punch. I’m very grateful to have three good meals a day.

I called Chocolatechip after supper. We talked about Wayne.  She said that the only time he hurt her was when they were in that clique with Jeanne, Linda, Betty. And them. She talked about the tim we came outside and sat on the bench. They we’re all sitting on the bench but got up and left when we came along. There were other times we were excluded but that incident stands out in my mind.

Ii wanted to talk about the time Wayne spit a hockey on Chocolatechip ‘s door. Then there were the times he called her a whore.  Hr smoked pot.

There was this woman in the building who called the police on Wayne and his friends. They really harassed her and keyed up her car . She had to move out of OT because of the harassment.

In short Wayne died a lot of bad things. He was talking to Chocolatechip towards the end. He told her one time he wants to get right with Jesus but is afraid it’s too late. Chocolatechip said all you have to do is confess your sins and be sorry.  I said in the end I forgave him. I also said I was glad I went to see him when I did.

Chocolatechip said his death hasn’t hit her yet. She went on to say we all grieve differently. I said it came as a shock to me. Wayne was only 61. Still, he looked very pale when I saw him and weak. Chocolatechip said I wonder if he knew his time was coming. I said I didn’t know about that one

We talked for about thirty minutes. I talked about my budget. I said I’m going to pay Capital One $170 . I want to get the New York Times back plus two books. Chocolatechip said I shouldn’t buy anything until I get my rent caught up. I said you are probably bright but I’m still getting those books and the paper I need my book fix and cannot stop cold turkey.

From Wayne we talked about different people we knew who passed. There was Jeannie who died of cancer. Then Rosie. Betty d that woman who was feuding with Wayne. it seems a lot of people have been in and out of our lives during our years at OT.

It is almost 7:30. I’ve been in this chair since five that’s over 14 1/2 hrs.I’m not tired though. I slept most of the day. Most people are winding down. I’m wide awake now. I’m going to try and read that chapter in my book What Hath God Wrought . i sure do have my days and nights mixed up.