This Entry is Brought to You by my Future Planner.

It’s 3 AM and I really ought to be asleep.  I was, for a while, but after using the restroom and dreaming about the items in my  online shopping cart which I still hadn’t finished deciding upon,  I decided I’d get back up and finish that task.  Don’t ask me how I ended up here instead.

I suppose being in Provo — especially being right on campus — makes me sentimental.  Plus, I always park by CP, my old apartment complex.  So how surprised are we that I spent so many midnight hours earlier this week re-reading my old OD entries?  …I  started almost back completely at the beginning, or as far back as OD has record of.  (I know there’s more that are missing from the very beginning.) The night I spent at 471, I think I was also up until like 3 AM reading.  Oh, how I love that sweet, silly, charming 20-year old me.  She made her share of mistakes, and had her share of immaturity, but wasn’t she sincere, thoughtful, unaffected, and determined?

Yet I realized that some of the entries I most enjoyed reading had quite a bent toward just showing off my everyday life, especially the lives of the people I most loved, so I think I’ll start sharing more about the kids and other family members.  Probably just as much navel gazing, but I’ll include more practical entries too.

With that, Betsy hits 14.5 at the end of the month.  I want to say that the last 6 months have lasted about 3 years, but I’m afraid that might be misunderstood.  Fourteen is hard; much harder on her than it is on me.  But it’s my first time parenting a fourteen year old, and I’m learning what it is to be needed emotionally for long chats without much warning, and at any time of the day or night.  She can be pretty attacky.  I don’t love that part.  But by the end, we both feel better and I usually feel like I’ve done a good job; I used to not feel so optimistic about things and I count the content expressed in this (albeit monster) sentence as a major win.

Mom and Dad have another house they’re thinking of buying.  Always another house.  Always.  The next house, certainly, will solve all their problems.  It’s getting exhausting and my patience is wearing thin.  I get more irritated by it than I need to, but I think that may be primarily because it’s a philosophy I inherited and used to believe for a long time.  (Part of me probably still does, to be fair.)

We’ve had a few changes to the Sunday routines that began a couple of weeks ago.  We now have several meetings: family council, family scripture study, couple meeting (which Scotty cleverly calls “United Front Meeting,” and I kinda love it) and then council meetings with each of the kids.  Oh, and the 2 hour block of actual church.  Many of the above meetings are supposed to be quite short, but the one with each kid can drag on a bit right now.  We’ll get faster with time.  Scott finished reading Nicholeen Peck’s book that I gave him and asked him to read a few weeks ago.  He’s really caught the vision and been leading the family in the most beautiful way.  I love seeing him really providing the leadership our family craved.  All the books he’s been reading — NMMNG, Passionate Marriage, and that other brown one I can’t remember — they’ve really prepared him well, and he’s done the mental work and made the changes.  It’s so admirable.  And sexy.

We had another great date today.  I didn’t love the location (Tucano’s isn’t really my jam) but the conversation was excellent and I felt super bonded and connected with him.  Earlier this week we also got a new bench to put at the edge of the bed which got some use today (!!!) and overall it was a really amazing day, with another great one on the horizon tomorrow, if we can make it through the fireworks Betsy sometimes showers.

Well, my paper planner isn’t going to purchase itself, so I’d better finish up and go back to sleep.