04/27/2010
I’m really proud of my little girl. 🙂 Tonite she was invited to a birthday party at a local "Adventure/Indoor Gaming" place – it’s got Bounce Houses, Bumper Cars, Twirling Teacups (like at the carnival), Laser Tag, a Climbing Wall, Duck pin Bowling, Arcade Games – the WORKS. It’s HUGE – Loud – Shiny – very full of sensory stimulation. The party was a busy deal too, with the birthday girl inviting at least 12 boys and 14 girls from ages 5 to 12. The birthday girl is a good friend of Boo’s from bowling, and is a WONDERFUL young lady. Her friends seemed nice enough, but the boys were VERY wild, and some of the girls were throwing around the "stupid" word…in the context of girls being better than boys. That wasn’t necessary, and we told them so. Boo is a lot like my mother, and doesn’t usually like being in a crowd, or in a place with loud noises. The Mom of the birthday girl (also a friend) was going to bring Boo up the street to where Edwin & I bowl on Tuesday nights, because the party was going to extend into our normal league bowling time. At the time of the invitation, Boo loved that idea. As the party got wild & loud, she started hinting that she didn’t want to stay there without us – and I really don’t blame her. She stuck close to the birthday girl, and wouldn’t go in the bounce houses because the boys were CRAZY in there: flipping each other over, kicking, punching, etc. The staff did speak to a few of them once, but I think that one staff member for two bounce houses of kids is not enough. Boo was treating the Birthday Girl as a touchstone of sorts, and when she went to do something without Boo, my little girl fell apart. She rested for a bit, then she & TBG went on the bumpercars together – and she LOVED it. Then it was time for pizza, and it was tasty, tho pretty greasy. I thought Boo was doing well, but I was watching her, and she was losing the brightness from her smile, and her eyes were shifting about quite a bit. I mentioned to her that we had to go to bowling soon, and that if she wanted to stay for Laser Tag, we could ask another friend to bring her right up to us after she was done. She IMMEDIATELY stood up and said NO, I want to go bowling with you. NOW. At that point, she was insistent on leaving – and just walking around the room saying our goodbyes had her frantic. She didn’t feel good at that point, had stomach cramps, and was flipped out from the sensory overload that is an indoor gaming place, to be honest. A FUN one – but overload, nonetheless. When we got to the car, Edwin & I both told her how proud of her we are, that she stayed as long as she did, and that she was having such fun with her friend. She liked hearing that, but then asked why the boys acted like they did.
Thing is, she’s got plenty of friends who are male, and the ages of the boys at the party. Mostly, these boys are either from bowling, or homeschool settings. In both cases, the boys are very well behaved, even when playing and "letting their hair down". When her friends get "Wild", it’s NOTHING like these boys at the party, even just sitting at the table in the party room waiting for pizza. This disturbed her, and so we explained the differences to her – traditionally schooled kids generally act different in social settings than homeschooled kids – and Yes, it’s a Generalization, but one we’ve experienced firsthand, and therefore I’m comfortable with it.
Once Boo got to the bowling alley and saw some of her bowling friends, she felt MUCH better. Calmed down while getting Happier, if that makes sense. 🙂 Only problem was, her stomach. She still had pains, and now she felt she had cramps & gas pains. When I’m stressed, I get that too – so I think that’s part of what her problem was. Once we got home, she spent some time in the bathroom, and then we put her right to bed…I felt her forehead, and she was warm – we’ll see what tomorrow brings.
All in all, I think tonite went VERY well, and that she worked right up to her limits. She recognized when she was "done", and told us so – and we took her out of the situation immediately. I am VERY proud of her, and we had fun tonite!!
…and I’m exhausted. 🙂
It might be a generalization, but I’ve seen it often enough to agree. 😉
Warning Comment
Wow, Boo did AMAZINGLY well!!! Actually recognizing that she was nearing her limit and told you so…I wasn’t able to do that until I was about twenty. When I was seven, if I was in a situation like that, I would have been curled up under a table refusing to talk to anyone to make eye contact. From someone who knows social anxiety, please tell Boo that I’m very proud of her! *hugs*
Warning Comment
one more reason to not attend public schools. and congrats to boo for handling it so well when it was threatening and stressful (would have been for me too and i am an adult)
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I’m glad she did this, and even pushed herself a bit to try to feel more comfortable. And I think it’s okay that you should be proud of yourselves, too, for realizing her need to leave when she did and not forcing her to stay where she wasn’t comfortable. I wasn’t homeschooled, but circumstances kept me sort of apart from the rest of the groups in a way. Being forced into something extremely uncomfortable has, to this day, messed with me. I have horrible social anxiety, something which you and Edwin are helping Boo to work through. Good on ya! —
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Oh I sympathize with her, I am much the same way. It does sound fun, but like you say, a little too much. Good for her for sticking it out so long!! Bless her heart, I think you and Edwin handled the situation wonderfully as well. ryn: Thank you!
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