mortality staring you in the face.

The kids and I packed up today and went to see my Grandma. She has always been so healthy and is experiencing a rapid decline in her health and mobility at this time. A few months ago, her hip began bothering her. She went to the doctor and it finally came down the line that she needed a hip replacement. She put if off for a long time because she just couldn’t stand the thought of having one. About a month ago, she finally set the date for surgery in September. Anyways, she’s been having more and more pain and it has limited her mobility greatly. Grandma went from going to the pool(for workouts) 2x/week, going out with friends, enjoying being out…to a complete home body. She was so unsure of the surgery but now she is in so much pain and can barely walk she pushed the date up to July 29th. She’s gone from using a cane to a full blown walker.

We stopped by today to visit. She is still using the walker and keeps everything close by so she doesn’t have to get up much. She walked to the computer today to do something and I was shocked. She can barely walk and you can see the pain in her face. I’m just so shocked at how quickly this went downhill. Even the doctors are shocked.

The kids enjoyed their time with her, with gentle reminders to be a bit more careful. My other Grandma is going to take care of the kids so I can be at the hospital the entire day for the surgery. After surgery, she will go into a rehab facility. And to my dismay, she was even talking about going to a senior living for a few weeks after rehab. She’s not the type for facilities, they were her arch nemesis before all this, but she’s even less for "burdening" her family into taking care of her. I have been offering to help over and over, but I know she won’t ever ask because of my "overwhelming life."

She’s such a strong, inspirational person in my life. She’s not your "typical old person" haha. She’s so involved and young still, sharp in mind. I hope she pulls through all of this okay.

On the way home, Gabe asked me why Grandma lived alone. I told him about how Grandpa Wally used to live with her. When he asked me where he was, I told him about how Grandpa had to go to Heaven while he was still in my tummy. He was curious and wanted to see pictures so I will have to dig some out. Grandpa has been gone almost six years now.

For me, I think I always assumed they’d live forever. Now they are both Great Grandmas to my kids. I have seen my kids enjoy them so much and love spending time with them, just like I did with my Great Grandma. Except mine passed when I was almost six, Gabe’s age. Mortality is really starting to become a harsh reality. They’re not going to live forever, and some day I will have to try and explain to my kids why they had to go away to live in Heaven. However, I am so very thankful I had my kids young. They have gotten a lot more of precious time with their great grandmas than my cousins’ kids probably ever will. I’m so not ready for them to go…and I don’t think I will ever be.

It also makes me a little angry at all my cousins. I have 7 on one side, 2 on the other side of the family. During the whole experience with my other Grandma’s heart problems and surgery three years ago, none of them barely showed up. I was there every day, even with two little kids at home, I made it work. I just think they owe them more than they give. I am curious to see how it will work with my 2 cousins on this side of the family. I know they’re better than the others, and hope they show up.