Damn it.

I often wonder if there will ever be a time when something doesn’t remind me of him, or make me think about my choices.

I often wonder if I’ll ever be able to let it all go.

I often wonder if I’ll ever be able to look at my phone and see a text from him and not feel like I’ve been attacked by butterflies.

I often wonder if he feels the same way, or if he’s truly moved on and over it all. If he hears things and thinks of what used to be.

How is he doing. Is he happy. Is he okay.

It would have been four years on the 28th of this month. My life would’ve been drastically different, who knows if we’d even be together by now. Or who knows where WE would be.

Sometimes I feel like people are just meant to be connected. I think he was one of those people for me. I wish my heart would completely heal, I wish my mind would forget it all. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen him, and it still burns like it was days ago.

Sure there are times in my life when I think of him less.

There were too many coincidences…too many instances of completely fate(still are). Unfortunately it didn’t work. I pray he’s happy but at the same time, I wish I knew if he thought about me occasionally, too.

It was only a short few months and a few years of heartbreak but my heart will never ever forget..and he’ll always hold a special place.