Surgery is definite.

Grandma was transferred to the bigger hospital in the city on Wednesday morning. The surgeon came in to talk with her, and it was officially decided that open heart surgery is definite. Without the surgery, the "issues with the heart will definitely shorten your life." The heart rhythm doctor(I’m sure he has a fancier title) said that it is a miracle she is here with us. Most people when they go into that type of heart rhythm pass out and they’re done. They die. So, we can only thank God for that HUGE miracle and hope she is strong and has the faith to jump the next hurdles in her path.

Surgery is scheduled for Monday at 11am, if the next few days go off without complications. It will be a 4-5 hour surgery, then she will spend 1 day in the ICU, and recooperate on the Cardiac unit for 4-5 days before going home IF all goes well. A few days before she goes home, they plan to implant the defibrillator underneath her skin. The heart surgery will repair the heart, but she also has a scar that could possibly cause the rhythm again- the defibrillator will shock her before she even has a chance to go into it, saving her life.

She had a normal EKG in 2007..which means her heart attack occured somewhere from then on to a year ago.

Work has given me all types of hell over this. Their call-in policy is you have to find your own replacement, you can’t just call and say you’re not going to be there. Sunday, when she was in the ER, I called EVERYONE. Nobody would cover, or even answer the phones. Tuesday I attempted to find coverage for Wednesday and luckily ran into one who worked half my shift. Since we didn’t know at that point if the surgery would be Friday or Monday, I posted a note at work asking for help to cover those days. One girl called me back today and said she’d work half my shift on Monday, however she is already working 7-3pm so it would be overtime for her, so she has to be last resort. When I called my boss when I finally found out what time the surgery was, she told me that if that certain girl covered for me it would be considered an absence because of the overtime issue. So, they want you to find coverage when NOBODY will cover. You finally find someone, and that’s an issue, too. And an absence for half my shift? I’m better off taking the whole shift then. Either way you slice it, I’m getting the absence..so why bother going in from 7-11pm? I’m not too worried about it.. I’m going to make one phone call and see if these two girls will cover(one I’ve covered for multiple times but has turned me down left & right) and if not, then I’m going with the absence. If they want to write me up, sure..but I’m not signing it. If they want to fire me, fine.. I’m sure I can go back to HIL. I kind of wish I was still there, I would have just taken FMLA and called it a day. UGH.

I’m too emotionally fried to deal with their bullshit on top of everything else. I honestly am numb. I feel as if my thoughts are racing 100 miles an hour, but I’m not thinking anything in particular. I feel like a shell of a person.

But Gram is in good spirits, and has been a little less stubborn about letting us care for her. But she still is stubborn in some ways, getting up to rearrange her gifts/flowers when she feels we haven’t got them quite right, holding the kids, rocking Maddy’s stroller when she got fussy today…the woman’s heart is fatal and she’s still worried about everyone else.

We’ve decided to take Maddy’s birthday party to the hospital for Gram. We were supposed to have her big party this weekend on Sunday but that has been put on the back burner. I ordered the cake today and I hope my baby girl still has a good birthday. I turn 23 on Saturday. I need some time out, I’m hoping JP will take me for dinner and a drink, then home to relax. Nothing big, just another year closer to 30. Yuck. I can’t believe my sweet girl will be one already…

Well, here’s to praying for the best..