Fragile heart [ Part 1]

Hi everyone. I’m new here. Just started writing here about my feeling and my life for everyone here to read and comment.

I feel heartbroken. My boyfriend and I, we are not meant to be together. We’ve been together for almost four years, ever since I was an university student. I was never been in a proper relationship or in love where other people love me back  before this 😅. I have a lot of crushes in university but none really like me back. There are some guys who like me but there are not the type of guy i want or a good person who I like or interested to start relationship with.

However all of them already married now and now here I am still single  struggling to find true love . I actually in a relationship now. He confessed to me 3 years ago, 2019 when i was a medical student. I was young and naive but at that time I actually know it is not gonna last long. I actually told one stranger that I found during our first date that we are actually not gonna last long . Just a temporarily relationship a few months maybe.

But now, here we are already reaching almost 4 years in a relationship. But i’m not happy. This relationship hurts me. It makes me feel much lonelier. Hurting me in many ways that make me trying to harm myself , physically…