Does That Make Me Crazy?

 I’m kind of freaking out a little bit. 
Along this path I rarely feel like I even MIGHT be making the wrong choice, but today something did it to me. 

Not something… someone. HER.
I guess that I have to come to the realization that what attracts me to him can attract other women to him to, and I suppose that the things that don’t attract me to him can attract others to him as well. It’s so hard. 
This girl, who I want to call white trash, just appears on the scene and he engages her. 
He texts her, he entertains her. His brother makes fun of him and says that this girl is "thirsty" for her. She’s THIRSTY for him? And you’re okay with that? 

Do you see me sitting here? Pouring out all my love and devotion, every single thing that I have to give? No? I am RIGHT HERE.

No one but him has ever seen me as a "giver". 
I’m not selfish, but it is not always my natural way to put ALL others first, I mean… is that the way that anyone operates? 
But when it comes to him and baby girl… All I do is give, give, give. 
I get nothing back, and he has even asked me- WHAT do you want in return? That’s just it. All I want is him, and apparently having him all to myself may be the one thing in this life that I cannot have.

I don’t know what to do. 
Cry? Confront? Run? 
None of those solve anything. 

I know that we belong together, but how much does it matter if he’s not sure, and not seeming to get any closer to being sure? 
I know that I will never love anyone else the way that I love him, and the way that I love his baby girl, but what if I am supposed to love someone else differently, and deeply? 
I guess it comes down to the fact that I WANT to be with him. I will wait for him, I am so good at it now it seems like it would be a waste to quit at this point. 
One day will he wake up and realize that I’ve been here all along? Or will this be my fate? 
This semi-constant roller coaster of love, sex, tears, and emotion? 
I don’t know how long I can do that. 
I just don’t know. 
*Cosette