Blown Away

 You know that Carrie Underwood song Blown Away? 

Yeah. I love it. 

It’s so powerful and real. 

I can honestly say that I was not a child of abuse, and I know that is this modern era that is indeed a blessing, so I won’t say that I "get" it the way the girl in the song does, but I do get it. 

I want to blow away some past life choices, circumstances, and situations. 

Shatter every window till it’s all blown away. 
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away. 
Till there’s nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday 
Every tear soaked whiskey memory blown away. 

I’m really missing him and baby girl tonight. Not sure why… maybe because I was sick and all I wanted was cuddles, maybe it doesn’t even matter- I miss them no matter what! When you love someone… you just love them! Ya know? 

Recently in my head I have a little voice asking me a lot of questions… 
Are you sure you made the right choice?
Does he really love you?
Can you ever really be a stepmom?
What about the people that don’t approve? 

The list goes on. 

What’s awesome is that when I sit down and think about these really hard questions, I CAN answer them. 
My choice to love him and give him my whole heart is not about right and wrong. It’s about FINALLY being true and honest with him and with myself. I love him- so truly. 
He loves me. More than I have ever known.
I love his baby girl so much. I wouldn’t say like her mother does because I don’t want to belittle the love her mom has for her, and I don’t have kids , but I love her more than I would have thought was imaginable. 
The people that don’t approve of us don’t have to. They have their rights and my love life is not based on them. 

If feels awesome to be able write those things out. 2 years ago… I couldn’t answer those hard questions. 

Exodus 14:14 is my comfort- "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."

My prayer for us is to be healthy, blessed, happy, honest and financially stable. 
My prayer for his baby girl is that she knows love, comfort, safety, and contentment when she is with anyone in her family, and that she grows up knowing that anything is possible. I love them both with all I am and this is the desire of my heart- to see us grow as a family. 

In Jesus’ Name

*Cosette