and the cuts get deeper….

so i went to my osychology teacher…she helped a little…this was on friday by the way….

i told her i wanted help, and she comforted me a little…like she was my friend who understood me…she gave me a number of a help center so i can get help for free(i think lol)

i called on saturday….but theyre closed on saturdays and sundays….so i have to go there on wednesday cuz tomorow i have school all day….

today i cut….and the cuts are getting deeper…the pain is subsiding, the fear is diminishing….i need to cut deeper to feel the pain…theyre not scratches anymore….

u know, i dun even know why i do it….its the feeling that gets to me…the feeling on my wrists to feel pain….

im such a coward…. my problems are nothing compared to others….why should i feel this way? why do i feel this way if my problems are rly nothing? i gess im just a weak little coward, weak, ugly, fat, stupid….

hahaha….my dad is right, im lazy too….and i gess my dad was also right about me just being stupid so long ago….

i should just give up on trying to help ppl u know, i mean, how can i help ppl when i cant even help my own damn self….im so miserable right now, when my life is so full of things other people dont have….

why cant i just suck it up?

omg im complaining haha…

well wateever…this is my diary…

hahaha….watever….ill feel better later i gess….