Tuesday 5/03/22
9:14am I am above the dirt. I still feel sick as a dog and candy hardly speak. Aides came for me at 5:30 this morning. I was a miserable pup with a horse voice, runny nose, bad cough and achy mess all over. I felt like shit. I tried to sleep in my wheelchair but couldn’t sleep. The only thing that kept me going was coffee and breakfast coming at seven.
Well they served breakfast on time. I had home fries, scrambled eggs, two slices of toast. But I thought my world was ending when they said they were out of coffee. What am I going to do with no coffee? I said to myself. I had chocolate milk and two glasses of oj but no coffee. Breakfast perked me up some but it is not the same as having a cup of hot coffee.
Then Scott came to take me to physical therapy. I was not up to it today. He said the will take it easy on me. I did arm e exercises on the machine. Darla was going to have me do leg exercises. I just could not do them and asked if I could go back to my room. Darla was nice about it and said she would be back later.
After therapy I tried to man up and pay bills. First. I called my bank. I could hardly hear them. I could make out that I had $861 available in checking. I called Capital One and could barely hear them. They transfered me to a representative. I could hardly make out what they were saying but here was where the trouble began.
I managed to get through to him that I wanted to make an $860 payment. That was not a problem. The problem came about when they told me I will have $600 available credit. Jesus I couldn’t understand them but they were trying to tell me that charges amounting to $260 were made on my card. I think these were yb payments made by Xfinity. At least that was what I got out of our conversation.
Anyway this is a real blow to my finances. I will have to get this straighted out somehow. At least I have money to pay the rent to the nursing home. That is the most important thing. I wanted to buy books but that is out of the question. I have enough books to read anyways. Somehow, I will have to get this straightened out. Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow.
I also called Chocolatechip. She was upset. Somehow she said she owed her caregiver $65. She is going to pay her but she can’t afford it. Chocolatechip said she was going to start setting boundaries with people. Business with the caregiver threw her off budget. I’m also going to have to start setting boundaries with Tim and Wayne. Both have bugs in their apartment and Tim is starting to talk dirty to her. She said she is not going to let them in anymore.
I told Chocolatechip about my trouble with the phone and the credit card. She said if those charges were made by other institutions such as Xfinity then they worked are illegals. I can put a block on my card .She also said that I should open an account with the nursing home. This way they could get their rent first without the hassle. I think this might be a good idea
Well, so much for check day. I waited all month for my SS check. Now this shit happens. I was looking forward to buying books. It is a bit of a disappointment but no big deal. I have plenty of books to read and I might to be able to buy some books but not shoot the whole wad. Always something
11:11pm I think I have this business withTriedvto talk to them the credit card settled. I called Capital One again. I got a better connection and could actually understand the representative. I said I made a payment of $860 earlier is that on record? He said yes it is. Then I asked when I could use the card. He said to tomorrow morning. I said how much available credit will I have. He said $860. I said thank you and this was what I wanted to hear. So that is settled. I should have more than enough to pay my rent.
I then called Chocolatechip. She is not doing well. She was laying down when I called. I asked what the problem was.She said bad nerves. I said I was sorry. I wanted to talk about it but she wanted to lie down. I did it say the business with Capital One is taken care of. At least I can pay my rent. She said that was good. Tried to talk to her about Tim and Wayne. She wanted to lie down.
I’ve been trying to read as well. I’m not making much progress in my book. I have been too sick to concentrate. Oh well I’ll get er done
1:22pm I started to read but fell asleep. I awoke shortly before lunch. I had fish, peas, scalloped potatoes and grapes for desert. The coffee was warm but I drank it anyway. Also had a glass of fruit punch. Lunch didn’t make me feel better. In fact, I feel very depressed. I feel so depressed all I meant to do is stare at the wall.
I think that business with the credit card company got me down. I’ve been looking forward to this date all month. The hassle I went through just got me down. Then I got to thinking about how many unread books I already have. I got books coming out of my butt. I started thinking I wasted my time and money buying books I probably will never read. Hell, I had a stimulus check and most of it went on books. I started thinking how to foolish I am for not spending my money more wisely. Thinking like this got me depressed.
In I’ve also been thinking about Chocolatechip. She sounded very depressed on b phone. I woke up from my sleep and tried to call her. She didn’t answer her phone. Right away I started thinking the worse possible thing could happen. Panic was setting in and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to think rationally. She could be napping. She could be in the shower. She could be doing a million things. But I kept thinking suicide. There, I said it.
I’ve been through this before. It turned out fine. She was just busy,taking a shower, involved in a project. It was all in my crazy say of thinking. I don’t think too clearly at times and my imagination runs wild I ruminate and ruminate about things and before you know it I crashed big time.
In any event I feel so down and depressed this afternoon. I just wish I could crawl into bed and stay there. I’m at a point now where I don’t want to think about anything,not books, my girlfriend or the business with the credit card co. I just want to lie in bed and forget everything.
I am feeling exactly the same way and yes, it is miserable. I went to the doctor today and got two shots and some medicine to take. I really hope I wake up feeling better in the morning…and I hope you do, too.
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They should always make sure they have enough coffee…it’s not right to make y’all go without your coffee in the mornings. I agree, breakfast is just not the same without it.
I hope Chocolatechip is okay…let us know when you hear from her.
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