How can this go so wrong if its feels so right?

Its such a strange time in my life. I met this wonderful, fascinating and funny man. A real gentleman from the upper class of society. We are very different but so confused at what is happening, please leave a note what you think is happening here.

We met online on dec 21 2021.As soon as we started chatting I felt this strong connection to him. He said the most beautiful things about me, theses kinds of statements you maybe only hear once in your lifetime. As time went by he seemed obsessed by me, we talk all day both on video and phone.

He is a very busy and successful man and I realized he was very short on time and this became more visible after the Christmas holidays. We started to tell each other our deepest secrets and needs, wants and feelings. He came out of a long relationship that ended badly and was scared to death of abandonment. As the weeks went by and he started to work the calls became less often and he kind of backed away a bit. I asked hin a few times if we could meet or go away somewhere but he kept pitting it off. After 8 weeks I asked him right out whats going on, he replied that he taught and hoped his life would have a place for love but he sees now it hasn’t. I felt apart and left this at left the relationship at once. After 2 weeks of no contact he added me on snapchat and my heart leaped. I missed him so much it hurted me inside. We started the entire process again, still not meeting each other IRL:

After 5 weeks of this virtual love I asked again where we stand, once again he respectfully replied that I was the most beautiful woman on earth and smart and he had no time to start a relationship. We live 1,5 hour apart and this made it hard as well. I don’t know how to say this in any other way but this man is my soulsmate I know this. I can feel when he wakes up because I open my Messenger and he is online just at that moment, I love him so deeply without ever meeting him? possible? yes…strange? yes. He has told me that he never has experienced this before with anyone and I am so confused why he can just let me go like this without a trying to find a solution. He is very very busy ths much I know. What is going on??? help

Scarlett Lee

If it’s important, they’ll MAKE time, if not, they’ll make excuses. I think the reason why you can’t meet up is that he is still married or in a relationship. That would explain occasional periods where he is quiet. It’s textbook married man behavior. I speak from experience.

And pouring compliments on you like he did right out of the gate, along with everything else you described sounds very much like narcissistic type behavior. You’re only 1.5 hours from each other? That is something more than doable if you were to meet halfway.

He has told you twice that he is too busy. When someone tells you who they are-believe them the first time. It will save you a lot of heartache in the end.

3 replies

@scarlettlee he i not married thats sure, my boss knows him she works as a principle as well in his town. But the taught struck me that he had a woman but not married. H was going to come in febuary but got covid the same day…yes I think the compliments were sooo excessive that I fell directly. I think he is a coward as well because my gut tells me this but your thaughts was good..thanx so much

@zowey sorry if it came off as harsh. I have been in your shoes, and would hate anyone having to go through what I did.

@scarlettlee I wish I knew the truth it would be easier to handle…but this idea struck me this morning, he has come out as a honest and real gentleman,,,almost too good to be true…I think his ex contacted him new years…and about 2 weeks later he changed a lot…Im happy I left this….was so sad,,,my life with a narcassist 14 years ended 10 years ago and I have been alone after that ordeal…

solovoice

Run.

5 replies

@solovoice more thaughts?

@zowey Pretty much what Scarlett said. If a man is really interested, he’ll move Heaven and Earth to be with you. I also suspect a woman, or perhaps, he’s just a con man.

@solovoice yes the woman thing is the thing Im thinking of…big time…50 year old man divorced twice , he says he has been alone 2 years,,,,dont trust him

Since he is very known in th school world here I have checked him out and he is who he says, but if there is a woman involved its probably true

@zowey You not trusting him says everything I need to know. Trust your gut and move on. You deserve better, my dear. Get out in the world and do everything you’ve ever wanted to do.

I left an abusive relationship after 10 years, so I get where you are coming from.

@scarlettlee my diary started after my 14 th year of abuse….difference is this ones more manipulative than my last…..thanx so much

bronner

Sorry, but yes what Scarlet said.