WWJD…aka…WTF

Blashphamous, I know…but still…

An EH guy sent me a request for contact.  He seemed cool, was really into the fact that I’m pretty involved in my church.  His page is all about how focused he is on his religion.  Two things go off in my head at once…thing #1)  cool!  Finally, someone interesting who is pretty involved in church, awesome!  thing #2) RED FLAG…oh no, he talks way too much about how involved in his church he is.

We got through the first steps of EH questions and moved on to "open communication", also known as e-mail.  He was very curious about my church, what I do and how involved I am.  I answered his questions we e-mailed back and forth a couple of times. As soon as the question of meeting came up a nagging feeling told me to double check his profile.  Sure enough…in the drinking column it says…none.  He’s a "non-drinker."  That in and of itself doesn’t bother me, but I am a drinker.   And I know a lot of non-drinkers don’t really enjoy being around a drinking crowd.  Well…we are pretty much a drinking crowd!  So I asked about it.  He said he didn’t mind dating a drinker, and asked if I minded dating a non-drinking person.  Well, at least the discussion was open.

So we exchanged #s and talked for a bit.  The topic came up again.  Honestly, this is something I was a bit worried about.  I drink several nights a week, my friends are big drinkers and I wanted to be sure he would be comfortable with it.  He seemed okay, so we decided to meet in a day or two for coffee.  He texted me on the day we agreed to, and asked if Chili’s was okay to meet at.  I was a bit confused.  It didn’t seem like a coffee type of place.  So I asked "for coffee?"  His response was, "oh, you want to meet just for coffee, we can do that, how about this starbucks <insert address>."  (he’s the one who suggested coffee!!)  I called him and told him dinner was fine (although I wasn’t super excited about Chili’s being our first date, but that’s just me).  At this point he was all about the coffee.  No prob.  I’m not super stoked about this one anyhow, I don’t think we have enough in common, but why not. Who knows.  We meet at Starbucks near his house.  When I got there he wasn’t there.  I stood around for a minute before calling him, he was sitting in his car.  I walked out and met him and we went in.  I ordered a drink and he says, "I don’t really want anything…well, I guess I’ll get a water."  Really?  We are meeting for a coffee and he gets…nothing.  Already off to an awkward start.  We sit and chat for a bit.  He got really agitated when the barista ground some coffee and made a lot of noise.  I thought that was funny since we were sitting next to the order station. The conversation once again turned to drinking vs non-drinking and we talked a bit about our respective churches.  I figured, we have nothing in common, when I get done with this drink we can go our separate ways and be done with it.  After our drinks he suggested going for dinner.  I thought, why not…I’m hungry and my other option is going home and making something at 8:00 at night.  Not super appealing.  We go for pizza.  Conversation was fine, same as before pretty much.  Just getting to know each other.  He commented that I came across as someone who had their life together and didn’t need a man, and he thought that was pretty cool.  Dinner ended with a hug good night and an "I will talk to you later."

I texted him the next day to thank him for dinner and tell him it was nice to meet him.  (this was…Wednesday I think, dinner was Tuesday) 

I hear back from him Sunday afternoon asking if I wanted to go to dinner.  I wasn’t feeling well and texted him as such and ask for a rain check.  His comment was "are you hung over or really sick?"  Really?  I called him back and told him I was rarely hung over, to which he replied he was just joking.  We had a casual conversation, in which he commented that I  did, in fact, sound sick.  (actually, I think I had been fighting it off for a while and it creeps up every now and again)  We left the conversation at, "let me know if you feel better this week."  No prob, I can do that.

Monday’s text.  (around 6)  "What are you doing tonight?"  ME:  eating dinner now, brought work home  HIM:  Do you want to get dinner and drinks tomorrow?  (drinks, really?)  ME:  I would, but I have a book club tomorrow and dinner with the girls on Wednesday 

<This is where the WTF comes into play…>

HIM:  Just a hint…you shouldn’t turn down two dates in a row…you’re not a catch, nobody’s going to chase you

<SERIOUSLY???>

I can’t tell you how many texts I composed back to him, but this is what I settled for…

ME:  Tip for you:  Don’t say your a Christian if you don’t act like it.

A little while longer from him…Good call.

I guess I’m glad his true colors came out so quickly, but I still can’t believe guys act like this!  What the FUCK did I do to him?  He’s known me for 2 hours, what does he know about me?  I didn’t even bother with a response.  Even the most cleverly worded one would have been a waste of time for a jerk like this.

What I wanted to say to him:

I don’t understand how you could be so mean.  I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.  I’m sorry I was sick on Sunday….I’m sorry I have a life and had plans for the next two days.  And, FYI…I don’t want someone to "chase" me, in fact, I don’t WANT anyone to "chase" me.  I want to find someone who fits me…who belongs with me…without the games.  I didn’t go to church for a VERY LONG TIME because of hypocrites like you who talked all about how Christian they were, but didn’t ACT like one.  Thanks for showing your true colors so I didn’t waste any more of my time.