Practicing gratitude

Day 12: What makes you laugh every time you hear it?

I laugh every time a therapist starts talking about self-soothing! I am inappropriate sometimes.

So, I have been trying hard to prioritize my self-care. Mad B is with her dad this weekend, so I planned some mommy time. I went shopping on Groupon the other day and I schedule a reflexology massage and an herbal body wrap. I have never done either of these, so I had no idea what to expect. I rolled up to the Sunny Foot Spa around 9:45 for my 10 am appointment. I was not prepared for this. They made me stand outside until 10 am on the dot. They redeemed my Groupon and take me to the back. It was dark and let me just say I was a little on edge. There were paper umbrellas hanging from the ceiling, very little talking, and it really appeared that they may have a special menu for regulars.  You may get a happy ending with your massage; I don’t know what is going on in that room back there. This Groupon says feet, shoulders and neck. This Asian man was rubbing my arms, feet, hands, calves; the hots stones were nice. When he pushed that button, my chair just collapsed into a bed. He just said, “Turn Over”. Okay! I had all my clothes on so complied. This man was almost on top of me, molesting my back with his elbows. Could you be less aggressive! I have a Trauma history! We ended with a scalp massage, I had to tell him to go wash his hands. I used my tinted dry shampoo this morning, I wasn’t expecting this much attention. I tipped him $20, that is the most action I have gotten in 7 months. Off to see Michelle for my herbal body wrap.

The atmosphere at the 2^nd salon was much different. Very bright, good lighting and aromatherapy oils misting in the air; soft music playing in the background. We go back to the room and this lady tells me to get naked and stand on that towel. The nurse at the doctor at least leaves the room when I take my clothes off. Not today, she was nice when she said it. I was allowed to keep my undergarment on. Why she has a fan on I don’t know. It felt very clinical, she has me standing in the middle of the room, says turn around to the other wall; I am standing on a white towel. I felt like I was in an episode of CSI and they were about to do a rape kit from the Asian man that molested my back earlier. She wraps me like a mummy in these warm but wet ace bandages from my ankles to my neck. These people that say after you have a baby you just don’t care, that’s BS. I still care! I am real up close and personal with these strangers today. I have intimacy issues! Then she puts me in this vinyl suit and a zero-gravity lawn chair so I can sweat the toxins out for the next 45 minutes. I only tipped her $10.

I was very present and accounted for today at these appointments. I still have another Groupon for acupuncture and cupping, I will let everyone know how that goes.  I am going to get some Mexican and Margaritas with my friends tonight. The doctor said I could have 1 drink with my Zoloft. I like him, we can be friends!