4/1/07

this was the worst night of my life. i honestly don’t know if i’ll recover from this one.

after it was already shaping up to be the worst night of my life, an independent piece of news (that could have made this the worst night of my life all by itself) laid itself at my feet.

you know what? nothing is as it seems. very little is real.  very few are honest.

it’s the most negative i’ve ever been. i’m not even gonna accept notes on this one because my intent isnt to make people feel like they have to sympathize or understand. i just want to type on this screen so i dont have to go lay in my bed where the real torture starts i’m sure.

i’ve been walking around in a blindfold.  ignorance is bliss. i would have rather not known.

my lungs are so tight.

it hurts to breathe.

and my oxygen tank…   he hates me.  and i don’t understand why.  well i don’t hate him, because i don’t have it in me.

but i hate this world. fuck this cruel awful world.  good things don’t happen to good people, it’s the luck of the draw. good luck.