cock it and pull it

I’m clearly in some kind of shock;  although I’m breathing new air, entertaining new thoughts… I’m some kind of involutarily comfortable.   I should be nervous… I should be skeptical.. of all this "new."  But I’m not now.  I’m sitting comfortably in this room I have to myself here in this apartment in Bouquet Gardens.  The place screams "exact-opposite-of-Saxonburg"  and all I can scream back to it is "thank you…!" 

I can’t find it in myself to get dressed right now.  I’m cozy, wrapped in this warm purple towel held with a tuck above my chest.  My eyes are grateful tonight to rid themselves of the contacts I impose on them daily.  My hair: twisted and wet, leaking little droplet streams of coolness down my back.  It’s warm in here.  Comfortably warm.  The air is swirling into my lungs easily, willingly tonight.. I feel floatingly high on oxygen alone.  The lighting in this little room is a warm soft gold.. thanks to Nadine, who lives 4 feet away, giving me a lightbulb for my little bohemian lamp with it’s translucent beads around the shade. 

The world around me is loud… crazy.  The rain is hitting the window at the head of my bed.. throwing itself at the walls of this building, wanting in.  Cars and motorcycles hum along the busy road just outside our building on Sennet.. sirens wail, students walk and run hurriedly down the sidewalk… shouting out they’re "hey!"’s… shouting out less pleasant things.  Nadine is giggling across the hall on the phone with her boyfriend… I empathize.  (I miss mine too).  I feel completely out of order… somewhat lost.. somewhat nostalgic.. but mostly, I just feel at peace with myself. 

yeah the world around me is loud… crazy

but I’m alright, inside this skin tonight.