Emotional Damage

Wow.

The world.

First, I used to write these entries after I updated my status on ICQ. This diary has seen me through:

9/11 – sophomore year of high school.

A recession where my dad was a mortgage broker and literally didn’t pay his taxes and his business took a hit and I was forced to take out student loans because I was playing a soccer and my parents said they’d pay for my education and they did not. 64,000 dollars later I’m still going to be paying on those for like the rest of my life it feels.

Wars in Afghanistan. The guy I liked signed up for military one day and I called him to go to my soccer game and he was just gone. Like I was ghosted. And then I started getting letters from him overseas. Not my now husband. That was “Charles” please refer to like 2002-2004-ish.

So around 2009 my serious boyfriend turned husband signed up for the military and I spend four years dealing with that…

Life happened, stuff was fine.

2019 had my first child….11 months later pandemic.

2021 had my second child. Pandemic.

2022 pandemic…and WWIII

The actual fuck is going on.

I am not having fun.