global house warming

it’s hard to write when you’re eating a sonic blizzard frosty smoothie blast or whatever they’re called but fuck it I can do it, because ice cream is not all the drives me no no no no ice cream is only an aside in my play my friend

nevermind all that

you know what sunday is? church you say? the beginning of another long fucking week? no no, sunday is our global house warming party. enjoy CO2 Sangria! Toxic Jello Shooters! "Gas Pump" Jager shots! chef prepared snacks including humus and pita bread and chips with salsa and other stuff she told me but I can’t remember! sunday! sunday! sunday! we have a large vintage gas pump thing that we’re filling with liquor and will be set on the table in the middle of the room for shots. we’re spray painting large boxes with recycling symbols on them which will be used for garbage throughout the house. the sangria is sporting a giant CO2 sign which will be placed on our media center next to an array of cups. since jane’s parents own a number of water and ice stores throughout the valley we’re getting a shit load of shaved ice which is being placed in a large metal tub outside and shaped into "ice caps", that’s where the beer will reside and the ice will melt as the night goes on which will be funny.

A banner will hang across the room, "Kill your liver, save the Earth!"

jane is setting up her dj booth in the dining room where she is going to spin alllll sacha selected songs. indie dance rock and punk electronica, at least that’s what the invitations say. the spare bedroom upstairs is going to be reserved for drugs such as pot and coke. No doing drugs in the main area of the party since we figure some people might be weirded out by it. We’re designating thecollage room, which is a fucking bad ass room thats going to sport hanging green and yellow lights for thee drugs. we’ll possibly put a sign on the door as a warning.

The best thing about our party is the interesting combinations of people that are going to attend. We’ll have sacha’s sol y sombra crew, a bunch of hipster servers and cooks from her dc ranch restaurant. her old atlas bistro crew, chef carlos and his enterouge. a few of my fellow dog groomers and their significant others. maybe an echo magazine rep or two. jane and breezy and their vast enterouge, lots of cute single gay boys and decked out fag hags. a few members of our former bullhead city crew. our real estate agent, his girlfriend, his brother, his brother’s roommate, and his roommate’s friend. you see how that happens? though previously we have been low key about any sort of gathering, this particular party we are going all fucking out, saying things like "yeah, bring whoever you want."

in theory, our party should be a huge success. We have a creative theme that is not only catchy but smart. We have a cool place, decked out with themed liquor and inviting music. we have fliers that are a tease to the event. we have word of mouth and, of course, myspace.

and with all this I’m still kind of afraid that maybe it’s going to be a bust. End up being like 12 or 15 people standing around being bored cause we’re playing bloc party instead of gnarls barkley. I think people aren’t going to "get" the theme. I’ve arleady told one person about it and they were like "I dont get it". the fliers have a picture of al gore on them spitting fire and I seriously think most people don’t get the connection. But whatever, if you don’t know about global warming and you haven’t seen "an inconvenient truth" then you shouldnt come to our party anyway. right?! right!

too bad miss amber rose wont be there to spew her insights into the room. she will be the only one missing from our party. that equals shitty and also more shitty cause money is stupid.

whatever, I will be too drunk to care.