death (pending)

bllleeeah for all that is treeeeah

I was late to work this morning because of Ironman Arizona. Fuuuuuuuuuck that shit. Large men who feel the need to show off their largeness are obviously trying to compensate for something very small.

like a penis.

Last night B&J came over for dinner. Ha! you care! Apparently J spent quite a hefty amount of time searching for my teen open diary. to no avail. ha! sucker. so if you are reading this, feel privilaged. and also feel me. up. because fuck. I need to get laid. and also paid. but not at the same time. cause then I’d be a whore. which would probably make me more appealing.

today I shall perhaps go to the goodwill for collaging materials since alllll the magazines I ordered off ebay will never fucking get here. slit here. bit here. fit here. I check the mail, to no avail. everything everything must always fail.

I got Sideways today on netflix and I hear it’s pretty fucking good. the girlfriend says that since that movie came out people come to the wine shop and are like “pinot, pinot, we love pinot” caaaaaaaause apparently pinot is quite the star in that film. interesting how easily someones opinion can be swayed by a movie that won best feature at the independent spirit awards.

but, have you seen the independent spirit awards? I have. IFC fo LYFE! Michael Ian Black makes me want to go str8. or sk8. something with a number in it.

I watched some of the pope’s funeral. why? I don’t know. I could only hope my funeral will be that extravegant. if there aren’t hot teenage girls crying at your funeral, you never really lived.

there was actually a news article divulging pinot sale statistics. apparently worldwide or nationwide or some such wide pinot sales have increased like, 20 percent since that movie came out. since i came out, sales have increased too. people buy more guns. to shoot me. so i wont have sex with their daughters.

enough about me lets talk about you. you have a knack for making things rhyme. you should write childrens books.

im sure there will be hot girls crying at your funeral. if there arent by default i will hire them for you. hopefully itll be open casket so they can feel you up when youre dead. hey sex is sex right, even if you are dead when it happens

also ive stolen things you say like “also,” and “things” but i dont know who came up with the “things” thing but i think it might have been you and what is this “bllleeeah for all that is treeeeah” ?

thanks for the time. you’re right about the freaky language crap…i usually skip over diaries like that. your note made me laugh (to spite myself) because it’s completely true. anyway, i wish you hot girls at your funeral and a chance at getting “laid.” but minus the money part, hehehe. why would being a whore make you more appealing? (not offensive)

I did not watch the pope’s funeral. At first there was speculation that they would bury his body in italy and his heart in poland, which is apparently a polish custom, chopin or somebody did that, and it would have been cool to see them rip his heart out, but when I heard that they weren’t going to do that, I said piss on it. Davo

I was delayed by the idiot ironmen also. If they’re so fucking “iron”, they could just jaywalk/bike through traffic like everyone else.

I like the young-girl hired-mourner concept, but no teenaged lesbian necrophiliacs for me thanks, I want instead a dozen screaming pre-teens dressed like spice girls and have them hysterically throw their training bras into the grave on top of my casket, after being prevented by security from jumping in themselves. I bet the pope didn’t even get that kind of respect. Davo

TOD is neat, in that it is sort of finding proof. Sort of. I mean, it’s trickier. I heard that about Pinot and Sideways. Like, Pinot propagandizing or something. People are very sad.