pride in pussy preference

I think I might name my child Belittle.

Today I drove twenty minutes to take my dog to the groomers.

When I got there, Gordon freaked the fuck out. He is usually pretty alright with new environments and new people but this place freaked him out and I’d imagine it was the yelping animals and smells and blah blah but whatever the case he flipped out and stayed behind my legs and wouldn’t let anyone touch him. I tried to calm him by beating his fucking face. Not really, I mostly was like “Gordon, no!” and the ladies were like “you have to be more aggressive” and they grabbed his leash and when they did that, Gordon got really upset and started barking and growling and yelling and so they gave me a muzzle to put on him. that just made it worse cause he didn’t know what the fuck was happening and so eventually they decided grooming him would be a DANGER and so I drove twenty minutes back home with Gordon’s head out the window.

Fucking pussy bitches, I would have groomed him. They told me to go to the vet for tranquilizers and I wondered if maybe I could take a couple of those for fun.

This weekend is what thee homos call “gay pride”. I have never before been to a gay pride festival and have always had strict guidelines about being “proud” of gayness, for I am no more proud of this lifestyle than I was when I practiced heterosexuality for years and years. I am not proud to be gay the same way I was not proud to be straight and I am not proud to be bisexual because labels are for cans and I proud of my individuality and all of it’s elements, not just the sexual part. Besides, I feel no need to embrace a culture and community where I “belong” when it is just as promiscuous, effed up and filled with unfair politics as the straight community.

Buuuuuuuut I recognize the social significance in gay activism and gay pride festivals and I realize they are necessary for social progression and to build a community of people fighting for civil rights and whatnot. And I guess I can’t rightly deny the idea of a gay pride festival without actually attending and seeing what they are all about.

So, I’m going to go. If nothing else I will certainly see some hot lesbian bitchez.

An intensely gay male friend from high school contacted the girlfriend this morning and invited us to a “rave” to celebrate gay pride. A rave? What better way to be proud of your gayness than to do lots of drugs and have mindless sex among blinking strobe lights and shitty hip hop music. Fuck, you don’t need a gay theme to do that. I’ve never been to a rave and I don’t really no the difference between a “rave” and a giant party.

B&J are certainly excited to attend and they’ve been going for years and they say it’s a good time and good food and drink and lots o gaychix. So I’ll just wear my hair in my eyes cause I’m too cool to look at this world and I’ll sport an impassable attitude and the bitchez will surely surround me in a mad frenzy to make out and I will be like “ladies, no no, I am spoken for” but I’ll slip the hottest one my number before I put my cock in her mouth. Ewwww, cock.