A good day…

I think today was a better day. I feel calmer. Slightly more at peace. The world is slowly coming back together. Slowly.

I had clients all day by phone which always makes it faster and better. The idly sitting kills me. Tomorrow I don’t have much unless my repetitive fail to call actually calls. Just meetings all morning. Probably paperwork for the afternoon to be ready for my Thursday travel. My boss at the restaurant texted the furnace is fixed so I’m on for working tomorrow. Yay me. I was slightly looking forward to maybe not working. Hopefully it’s busy and I don’t have an awful coworker with me. My second waitress options are always pretty slim. Of course she scheduled me for Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. I’m slightly annoyed as I’ve been picking up Saturdays as a favor and generally she’s asks. But it’s whatever, as I have had a lot of days off this month between covid and the furnace. Saturdays are generally good tips anyways. And really, what enjoyable thing would I have even done. I’ll work a few more than ask about doing every other one I guess. I’ve been explaining to the newest waitress who doesn’t like mornings that Saturdays are great money compared to nights a lot. At least in the winter. And 8 a.m. isn’t bad. She’d initially said no mornings, but has told me she meant the 5 a.m. open. So once she’s a little faster I totally think she could do every other one with me. I don’t want to do them all forever.

Today, driving back to work at lunch I was finally thinking how happy I am with this house. Like it’s truly great. Maybe it’s finally sinking in it’s really MINE. I’m living inside a giant, probably too big for me, house where I’ve always wanted to live. When life was rough 17 or so years ago I’d drive around at night with the kids. I always drove to this neighborhood. Looked at the houses. Thought of how badly I wanted to live in them. Wondered what the happy families inside were doing. Wished so badly I could have that life. My Grandma said I always wanted to live up here as a kid. I don’t remember that. But I do remember the dream when I had my own kids. I finally made it. (That song was on as I was driving which is possibly what triggered these thoughts…. Look Ma, I made it…..). Ironically in the loop I drove my home now is one I always went past. Looked at every single time.

I was thinking – It really is too big. Yet, it’s perfect. When my kids all have families it’s big enough for holidays. Grandkids. Excitement. But I was also thinking – Maybe I should see if Alex wants to eventually move into the basement. He will still come home from college and said he wants his room. But if his room was in the basement it leaves me two spare rooms upstairs. Rooms that could easily be adapted to foster kids or anything my heart desires. Not today. Not tomorrow. But I’d love to foster. Someday. Just random thoughts. Maybe my brain is more peaceful as it’s coming up with long term goals and not just surviving until tomorrow.

I should fold a load of towels and get my clothes into the dryer now. Then maybe sleep at a decent time.