Illusions…

As much as we all know it is fake…the romance in the books we read or the movies we watch, one cannot help but hope a lil that you could experience some of the magic.

I wish my husband would be spontaneous and just grab my hand and dance with me in the middle of the kitchen or wherever we may be. The last time we danced together was on our wedding day….and I wouldn’t really say it was much of a dance. And before that it was at my niece’s Bat-mitzvah…I had to drag him onto the dance floor and he kind just stood there while I danced…and before that was at a friend of mine’s wedding back in like 2012.

I would just love to get that feeling of being whisked away to some romantic dinner or something. I know if I don’t plan it, it won’t happen.

The last time he ever did whisk me away to a romantic dinner was on my birthday back in 2013. He planned a whole surprise at a fancy restaurant…we drank wine…which I didn’t actually like…and we had a great meal and then he surprised me with Tiramisu…which I hated…but I loved how thoughtful he was.

Actually that wasn’t the last time…a few years ago he surprised me again for my birthday and took me out to a fancy restaurant…that was before we were married…probably roundabout 2014 or something.

When I look back on any fancy thing we have ever done, it was because I arranged it. I wish he would do something, and actually put in the effort to surprise him without it been something that hides something that he wants.

We have 2 Wedding Anniversary dates. The first being when we traditionally got married in front of family and friends….and then 3 months later we signed the marriage license…but since his ID has been duplicated and is deemed invalid our marriage license has yet to actually be filed and in The South African Court of Law we are not Husband and Wife.

Anyway so we still celebrate 2 anniversaries…and to us and to everyone else we are married. No one really knows that legally we aren’t…well not many people (my father and sister…and anyone they may have told and my husband may have told)

We are about to head into the month that we actually signed the Marriage License…I wonder if he is going to surprise me with anything. Probably not. He always said that I am the planner and so it is my duty to plan things.

Fist Wedding Anniversary – I planned a holiday for us (Wedding Date)

– Dinner planned by me (License Date

Second Wedding Anniversary – I made reservations for us for a dinner at a Restaurant (Wedding Date)

– Made a whole breakfast and supper for us at home as our 1st Lockdown happened (License Date)

Third Wedding Anniversary – I made dinner reservations for us (Wedding Date)

– DATE YET TO HAPPEN

As much as I love my husband…and I know he does love me, it would be nice if he showed it. Surprised me! Did something for me without me having to ask or instigating it.

A few posts ago I wrote about how I would be willing to move to the UK for him and with him. Yesterday and today he kept brining it up, about how after his studies he I plans on moving to the UK….he keeps mentioning how he has being speaking lots to his UK friends lately and now that he is working on the UK side of the place that he works for…they have offices in the UK so he leads the UK office from RSA…so he is feeling as if the UK is calling him more. As much as RSA politically and criminally sucks I don’t want to leave it, so I don’t really encourage those conversations.

On Thursday he said to me how because he is now speaking with people from the UK every day, I should expect his British Accent to come back. He wanted to warn me because there are 2 things that happen when he has been drinking…

His British Accents becomes very thick
He cleans the Flat

While I was partaking in the Shul service this morning he was out playing Basketball and when he came back, my service was finishing. I got onto the couch and prepped to watch Rugby. So has I am getting comfy on the couch he comes in and stops me and pushes me to go and do the thing that I wanted to do…I wanted us to go o Discovery Bank and look into us starting a Joint Account with them…he went on about how he was now in the cleaning mode and wasn’t in the mood to go to Discovery Bank with me, but I planned to go so I must go or he was going to make me do house work with him. So I quickly got up and left.

I was gone for about a few hours…and when I came back the flat was pretty clean….and while I started to watch The Bachelor he just fell asleep on the couch…so I had to put up with his snoring while watching tv…and then when he woke up, he needed to petrol in the car, I assume he went to our local petrol station, which is right next door to a liquor store…and he was gone for awhile…when he came back home, the British Accent came on, he spent some time talking to his British Colleagues and then went on to tell me to prepare to leave the country for the UK in a year.

I got irritated so I am now sitting at my dinging room table and writing this post…but also in the back of my head I am wondering if he has been drinking.