Thoughts

Day one here! Hello to anyone that’ll listen. I feel like I’ve been on this journey of being “still” for a while now. I’ve become more comfortable than ever. I feel so depressed some days and totally fine others. Today is one of my totally fine days. I’ve been in a “situationship” with someone for the past nearly 7 years. We’ve been in a relationship before, but for the past 3 years, we’ve been off. I have tried leaving him, but we always find our way back to each other. I continue to tell him that I’m moving on, but never seem to move on completely. It’s like I meet all the wrong guys. As soon as I like a person, they give me a million reasons not to. Either they have a child on the way,  they are too busy in life, or just trying to get in my pants, which always pushes me right back into the arms of the man I still love. In all honesty, it’s tiring. I’m honestly ready to move forward so what’s holding me back? We don’t have children together, we don’t own a business together, we don’t even live together, so what is keeping us here? I think he keeps me close enough to keep me from totally walking, but not close enough that he’ll make our relationship progress. We have been through a lot together. We first met when we were 23 and 24, so we have endured a lot, thing is, we haven’t made as much progress that I have wanted. I thought we would be married, or even engaged now 7 years later, but we’re no where near that. In fact, we’re worse off than we were when we first met. In the beginning it was nice, peaceful, calm, loving, fun, and now it’s become draining more days than it is happy sailing. I love this man I do and I know he loves me, but for some reason we just can’t get on the same page. I’ve meet new people so meeting people or even moving on isn’t the problem. He’s a great guy, but has stale ways. Very “I’m the catch” ways and that is something that I can not and will not deal with. After all, I’m the woman. I am going to remain positive because that’s really all I have to give right now. Manifesting the man I want, the life I want, and the love I want to give, hoping that one day, my manifestations come to fruition. 😃