Me…The Child Part 4
I grew up surrounded with girls and women with long straight hair. My older ‘white’ sisters have always had dead straight black hair that pretty much touched there arses it was so long…
Now being a Black girl my hair could only get so long…it was thick and black, so I had that, but the regrowth was just crissy and would never be like my ‘White’ sisters’ hair.
My mother got me to love wearing braids. And damn, would I sit for hours to have braids put into my hair.
My braids had to be long….I wanted long hair like my sisters…and the plats had to be very thin…so this whole procedure would take nothing short of 18hrs. For 18 hrs I would sit, while someone would be pulling at my hair and pushing my head left and right. But hey you got to suffer to be beautiful, right?
I must have been about 11 when I said no more!! I was not having braids anymore. I couldn’t deal with the pain and discomfort and the hours it would take to have it done.
But since I still wanted to look as close to my ‘White’ Sisters has possible, I would ‘relax’ my hair regularly. So my hair was never quite that long but it was black and straight.
Now I am an adult and after many years of cutting my hair and relaxing and it putting it through styling with the brush and hair dryer and GHD, I have really ruined my hair.
Guess it was time for a change.
And so I figured I might as well do it! I found a hairdresser and sat for about 4 hours and now when I look in the mirror I see myself with braids…and I like the me that stares back at me. Not being vain or anything but I like how I look. Neat! Beautiful!
If I am being honest I think I had and maybe still have this idea that I am better than other Blacks, because I grew up with a White Family and live in an ‘Affluent’ area, went to ‘Model C’ schools and speak well. So maybe that is why I hated wearing braids and extensions.
It is funny how ‘White’ women are putting fillers into the arses so they can have bums like ours and getting boob jobs…if I could I would give them all the added cushioning in my bum and breast…well if I lost weight I am sure that would help a lot.
It is funny how everyone is always wanting to be like someone else.
Will I ever be 100% happy with myself? I mean, yeah now I like my new look with braids…but I wouldn’t mind being about 3 sizes smaller in jeans size and about 4 sizes small in bra cup size. When that happens will I finally be fully happy with myself, then? I would like to think so, but I know I won’t…there is always something else…
Be Jewish? – Well, I am working on that and in about 11 months that will be.
Be a Mom? – Well, should I get the Obera Balloon put in, then I cannot fall pregnant with it in so that means being a mom will be pushed back by a year…but hey maybe I can adopt…
Be Thin? – Working on that.
Be Happily Married? – There has been some development with that and that will be its own post…
Be Rich? – I still play the Lotto, I know that that is not guaranteed and there are other things that I could do that would make me wealthier but it would be nice to wake up one morning and have a couple of extra zeros in my bank account….and all I had to do was choose a few numbers for it. On Friday someone won R 167 000 000…I was so upset that that wasn’t me. I then wondered how honest is this? Is there someone who actually won that and not just the Lotto people fooling us so we can keep gambling with them?
I could go on forever on the things that I want in order to be happier…but I think I should just be happy that I woke up today, that I have the love and support from my family…I am lucky that I have a warm bed to sleep in and am able to put food in my stomach, that should be enough and is enough.