2/9/2022

Day 6, I think. It’s all a blur..

I’m at a loss of words today. It was a fairly boring night. Went down the YouTube rabbit hole for a while, watching a wide variety of fail videos and meme reviews. I discovered a channel called Psych2Go and WOW it really opened my mind and eyes about a lot of things. Here’s a link to that if you ever wondered about something raddling your noodle like me : https://www.youtube.com/psych2go

I tried Binaural Beats when I went to bed. I have headphones that I bought a few months ago call Bed Phones that kind of fit comfortable enough to sleep with for people that sleep like I do. I guess you can say I am a side sleeper, IDK, I burrow like like a hamster in my pillow and blankets. Not the greatest sleep technique for older people with bad aches and pains. It usually takes me about a hour to get around the apartment without pain…LOL  I just have never been able to sleep on my back.

Anyhoo, supposedly listening to Binaural Beats is supposed to somehow program your brain and such. Look it up because I will do no justice to it by trying to explain it. Does or did it work? I really don’t know. I did have some nice dreams. Really nice dreams where it seemed everything was working great in whatever life I was dreaming about. Neither of my ex’s were in them. Maybe an old friend or two. I want to say a dalliance with an old female boss I had years ago. The typical dream that goes all over the place, but still seems connected for some reason. I guess I’ll have to keep at it and see how it goes.

I have to go grocery shopping tonight, which after the divorce has actually become a chore and not the pleasant thing it was back then. I used to love finding new things to make for Patty or making her favorites. The kids tell me that she has totally changed on what she used to like that I made. Not sure if I should take that as bad or good. Does she miss my cooking so much that she just chooses to eat different because no one can match it? Did she hate it this whole time? It took a long time to go shopping at first. My mind would constantly go to her as I went through the isles and saw all the things I used make and found new things I was sure she would love. I’ve all but stopped cooking in general instead I buy the same things week after week. Light cream (for coffee), Fairlife 2% milk, Fiber one cereal, Bob’s red mill oatmeal, Bananas (to make Fiber one palatable), Pears and Apples. Sometimes a salad mix. I used to make stews and soups, casseroles and pasta salads. Several types of sandwiches and various “New” recipes. I would experiment with all types of things but, now it’s cereal or oatmeal in the morning and salad or fruit at night. On the off chance I want to liven things up, I’ll order a pizza. No more pop (soda), juice, deserts (that’s what the fruit is for) . A sad meal plan for a sad man.

So, yep, that’s all I got today…