Missing you but I can’t say it

**TO MY SISTER. SHE WILL PROBABLY LAUGH IT OFF IF I TELL HER HOW MUCH  I MISS HER**

I’m pretty sure I’ve told you at least one time before…at least once. But I miss you. You’re my crazy older sister and it feels like I never see you. I’m glad you finally found someone who cares about you, but I care for you too. I guess you’re not really thinking about it when you’re with him, and maybe you do think about me. But I’m really wanting to be around you. 

I am happy for you, you know that right? I’m happy he’s around to treat you like the princess you’ve always been to me. 

This sounds corny in my head, but I’ve told you a million times before that I love you, but I can’t remember the last time I sincerely apologized to you for being me. I realize that sometimes I can be a bit of a hand full and no one knows that better than you. I’ve come to see that no one knows me like you. You finish my sentences for crying out loud. You know what I like, what I can and can’t eat, what I prefer to eat, you know every stupid little thing about me and with some people I can’t stand that thought right now. But it’s so comforting when you do it.

I don’t think I’m ready for what the world has for me. I need you by me. We’ve been through so much together this past year and I just don’t want to go on without you beside me. Especially through this.

I like him, I do. Despite what he may think, he’s a cool guy in my opinion. But I want him to give me back my sister. Maybe you haven’t gone anywhere, but there is a distance between us. A distance that literally drives me crazy when you leave to be with him.

I feel like the little sister that wanted to follow big sissy around everywhere…Well, you’re home now…puking in the shower. At least you’re not drunk.

I love you.