Sneaky little bitch

A long time ago in a land far, far away from where I live now, I dated a guy with … questionable morals, you could say. No, not questionable – actually no morals. I couldn’t tell you why I stayed with him as long as I did; I wasn’t desperate, I wasn’t without other options and I certainly knew better. I just … didn’t do better.  I guess I was complacent.

Anyway – this guy had a son from a previous relationship. The boy just turned four years old when I met him, and despite not wanting kids of my own this blonde-haired, hazel-eyed little mini-man crawled right into my heart and planted himself there. It was a strange situation, as his father (my boyfriend) wasn’t officially a parent figure in the kid’s life.  When he was born, both his birth mother and father were deep in the grip of things that happen in the San Fernando Valley, and in the course of things that happened that would take way too long to detail the boy almost ended up in the custody of Los Angeles County.  At the last moment a family member stepped forward to foster and eventually officially adopt

These stories rarely have a happy ending, do they.

So the boyfriend technically was the kid’s “uncle”. Older family members knew the full story but the little kids didn’t – at least not 100%.  Bit by bit the little guy pieced it together, but he didn’t fully understand, at least not the same way an adult would. I don’t think he much cared – he had four brothers all very close to his age and two sisters a few years older, tons of aunts and uncles and cousins running around and I think he just saw everyone as family, no special designation.

I spent a lot of time in that house with all the crazy activity and was accepted by everyone, especially the little guy. We got close. We bonded, laughed, cried, had a few arguments, and learned a ton about how to navigate what, at times, was an uncomfortable world. The boyfriend situation was “meh” but I really, really liked that kid.

Then.

Boyfriend went back to old behaviors, we fought A LOT, he started hanging out with people I didn’t like, didn’t get along with and … it all fell apart. I did not miss that guy, but I sure missed the kid. I’m glossing over big details, but they don’ matter. What matters is the relationship ended, and that is not a bad thing.

I kept in touch with the little guy’s adoptive mom a little, even when I left the West Coast and came back to my family here in the Tundra.  Things happen as time passes though, and eventually we all lost touch.  I see pictures posted on social media here and there, and they all paint a picture of a kid growing up in the Valley in less than stellar conditions.

The boy looks so much like his father – his build, his face, his goofy smile. He even wears his hats the same way, squints at the sun the same, is just as physically big and intimidating as his father. I haven’t talked to him in probably 15 years, but I bet you diamonds and dollars that he even sounds like his dad. Poor kid.

So … Friday night I couldn’t sleep. Long work week, racing mind, hard to settle down, blah blah blah. I was scrolling through Facebook and there it was on his sister’s page: a GoFundMe for Danny, her little brother, just 18 years old.

“Please help us raise funds to bury my little brother.”

Holy fuck.

It was Halloween 2021. No cause of death listed in his obituary, couldn’t find anything via Google except a notice of sentencing in July 2021 in LA County Court for charges relating to use of force with a deadly weapon. Like father, like son, I guess.

Who knows what happened to Danny, but I really don’t think he spontaneously passed in his sleep. I don’t know how I really feel about it all, other than of course shedding some tears over what the kid could have been.  It’s just such a stupid waste how some people end up going down the path that offers the least resistance on the surface but ends up sucking them into the undertow and right down into that ugly black hole.

Sometimes I’m glad I got out of that place when I did. I’m a strong swimmer, but sometimes that undertow is a sneaky little bitch.