Oh boy

The husband came home yesterday and informed me he’ll be back working nights. We’ve been together for over 20 years and he’s always trying to work nights. He volunteers. It doesn’t matter that the rest of us would like him to work a normal schedule. He always finds a way to be the night person. It used to be really difficult because I worked all day and then had to do everything for the kids when I came home including being the only one to be up with them at night because he’s not there. It’s kind of annoying still but the kids are self sufficient and don’t need the same amount of assistance as they did when they were little so it shouldn’t be a big deal but it is to me. I feel like he prefers being the one that works at night because then he has literally no interaction with the kids or i during the week and less during the weekends because he needs to sleep all day to stay on schedule. It just drives me insane that he’s got a family that he doesn’t seem to ever want to see. I’m pretty sure he asked to be put back to nights because of my issues with the porn. It just makes me want to scream. Why do we even have a family. We don’t want to move this summer. Why don’t you just move on your own. Oh ya, because rent and the cost of living is absolutely insanity around here and we can’t afford it, that’s right. I don’t understand what the point of staying together is any more. It’s been maybe 3 months of day shift in the 7 years we have lived here. It was supposed to be day shift for the rest of our time but of course he found a way. He didn’t deny it when I asked him if he asked to he put on nights so I guess I should just consider it his way of saying fuck off.
I realize there’s of course much worst problems to have and I’m being petty and ridiculous but that’s what I needed to get out today. At least I’ll have my kids to take care of alone as usual.

Scarlett Lee

That’s not petty. That is a valid concern, for sure. My dad did the same thing to my mom. and there were three of us and we had just taken in two of my cousins. My mom didn’t drive. It was a terrible time. I feel very bad for you.

Carina

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Your concerns are absolutely justified. A and I have been together for 31 years, and I think the only reason we’ve lasted this long is because he works second shift and we hardly spend any time together. When we do, we fight. He had a major porn issue for a long, long while there, where it’s all he was doing… watching, saving porn pics on his computer… the whole nine yards. Of course, that was my fault because I wasn’t putting out enough. Whatever. He finally stopped that many years ago, but it was a battle I fought, too, for a long time. I hate it being like this and long for a normal life and marriage, but you know I’ve done this for so long now I’m realizing that in our case more togetherness might not be a good thing.

1 reply

@caria it’s so frustrating to me because I just want normal… we don’t spend that much time together either and I guess that will just continue until one of us dies at this point 🙄🙄🙄 ugh ….

LaMadre

You have every reason to be concerned and be frustrated. Sounds like hes trying to evade familial responsibilities. Taking care of the home, the kids and having a job is HARDDDDD. if you ask me, the hardest responsibilities are the kids and the home. I have worked from home and worked at the office and I must say working at home has been the most challenging for me because my husband thinks since I work from home I have all the time in the world. He might just be trying to escape home duties but its not fair to you or your kids.