I Wish

Just part-took in a Shabbat Seder on Zoom.

Yes it was great being in a community and praying together and being able to kinda understand what is going on and be part of it all….

my father is Sephardic so I grew up going to his shul and everything was in Hebrew. Over the years I some how taught myself how to keep up with them, while reading the English only  I didn’t understand what they were saying or singing but I could read in English and managed to keep up with them, still. 

So tonight while praying and reading the Reformed Siddur “mishkan-tfilah-world-union-edition-repaginated” I was able to part of the service. I felt good and know this is right…

But…it was sad being alone, while my husband was talking to his work colleagues and friends in the study. I got so irritated when we were praying and he walked into the room while talking on the speaker. Thankfully I was on ‘MUTE’

But we were all on Zoom and I could see from those who had their Camera on that they were with their family and friends….okay not all of them. I just thought back to when I was younger and living with my family how Friday nights the dinner table was always full…but tonight it is just going to be me. My husband is busy in his own world.

 he would do this with me.

I had a true partner who would stand beside me.  I was with my family.  I wish I was in-love with a Jewish guy.