~*28

Sometimes I’m not sure if using my weight issue as a scapegoat is a valid excuse.  I’d like to think my friends don’t judge me because of it, but I can’t help but think they do.  I still always tell myself that if I was just the skinniest one of the group things would be different.  This would be pretty hard concidering that all my friends happen to be beanpoles.
I found out that next year Dana, one of my current roommates and someone I considered to be my best friend, wasn’t planning on living with me next year, and neither is Allison.  They’d rather live with 2 dudes they work with.  I feel left behind.  I spend Tuesday night in udder sadness, and no one noticed.  Dana over reacted to Debbie asking us not to smoke in the house, and she got the entire party to console her.  I’m tired of her pretending to not know how to do things like I do with my mom when I want her to do something for me because I’m too lazy to do it myself.  I’m tired of feeling like I have to compete with her.  I don’t know what to do.  If I can’t find roommates for next year I can’t afford to go here, and it’s my only option for my major.  I’m just 3 semesters away from my dream job.  I also hate that when Debbie disses my entire family, and I get hardly any support from my friends while I’m in my dorm sobbing for hours, and Debbie just complains about the smell of cigarettes and people are consoling her in different rooms of the house.