So

Not happy. I just feel like everything I do, no matter what is somehow wrong or not good enough. Things just seem to blow up in my face. My arms hurt lately. I don’t even want to think about what will happen if I can’t do massages anymore. I can’t do school. I’m just not good at it. I do NOT want to start over. Please. Don’t make me have to. Anything but that. I always think things will get better and they never do. Or rather, they get better for long enough to trick me into thinking that they’ve gotten better and then BAM they get worse again. I’m so so tired of being pathetically optimistic. It hurts too much.

Things only feel better so they hurt that much more when they get worse.