From the cashier files…

First some personal stuff I guess haha.

So I told Amanda I like her the other night. She shot me down… but nicely haha. For real though, I don’t think I’ve ever been shot down so nicely haha. She told me that she’s still all fucked up over Britt [I figured she’d say that,] and that she doesn’t want to get into a relationsip with anyone until she can get her head straight. She said she didn’t want to hurt anyone, much less someone as fucking awesome as me [her words, not mine haha.] She also said I’m not a creep and that it’s kind of cute haha. But yeah, it’s pretty much what I expected. It’s not weird though. Which is cool. We still talk all the time. It’s nice.

Also. I got laid today. It was fun. Googie [his real name is Bryan, but everyone’s called him that for um… forever] came over this morning and we kind of just… got naked haha. I meant to like hang out a bit before we pounced eachother, but that didn’t happen haha. His dick is huge. I just need to reiterate that fact. I’m surprised EVERY time I see it, haha.

Almost every time I work, there’s at least one person who makes me LOL. Here’s a few stories.

–A few days ago. A stout, disheveled woman puts her stuff down on my lane. I scan everything, tell her the price, and start bagging her things. After she paid and as I’m bagging, she proclaims "THAT’S NOT WHAT I GOT!" I had no idea what she was talking about, but before I could ask, she’d pulled a notebook out of her pocket. It had everything she bought written down with the prices next to the items. She had added them together and calculated sales tax on the page. She shoved it into my face and said "SEE?!? I got $22.51, and you got $28.47!" I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared at her blankly for a second. Finally I said "Ma’am, I don’t calculate the prices, the computer does. I have no control over the prices of things, all I do is scan the items." THEN, she pulls a fucking calculator from her pocket. Who carries an enormous calculator with them? She takes out the reciept and her notebook, comparing the prices she’s written and the ones on the slip. Once she’s done with that, she starts using the calculator to figure out what "went wrong."
Once she was done, she told me "Well I did the math wrong on the paper but the price I got and the one you got are still $2 different." So again I told her "I didn’t DO anything, I just scanned the items.  The computer makes all the calculations." This whole time, I can’t take care of the other customers in my lane because this nut ball wont understand the fact that I DON’T DO ANY FUCKING MATH. It would be different if I was the one with the little paper, adding shit up in my head, but I’m not. Finally I told her that if she still had an issue, she could see the people at the service desk and they would help her because I didn’t know how. That finally made her take her bags out of my lane and walk away. BUT she stood at the service desk arguing for like 15 minutes after that. Jerk.

I really like this next story. I’m still laughing about it.
–Last week. I was about to leave for the night. I turned off my light and a very very skinny woman with a baby that looks no older than three months old comes into my lane. I felt bad because all the other lanes had super long lines and I figured 5 or 10 extra minutes wouldn’t kill me. I told her she’d be my last customer and asked her to please put my "lane closed" sign at the end of the lane. After that, she starts pulling items out of her cart and I can immediately tell the first order is a WIC order [she had 3 half gallons of milk, two containers of Juicy Juice, a dozen eggs, etc,]  but she still had a cart full of other shit.
Once all of her things are on the belt, she hands me two WIC checks and her driver’s license. Now I don’t know if you know this, but as per WIC’s rules, we can not ever ever ever accept a WIC check unless the person shows their WIC family ID and the numbers on it match the nubers on the check. So I asked her if I could please see her WIC family ID. Welllll, that makes her launch into this story about how she lost her ID and it would take her a few days to get a new one and by then those checks would be expired and she really really needed the stuff and couldn’t I take her ID? It has her picture and NAME on it which matches the one on the check! Annnnd of course, "Someone did it for me last week!" So I told her I’m sorry hon, but WIC’s rules state that we absolutelly can not take a WIC check without the accompanying family ID. I told her the most I could do was ask my manager for her.
So I call for a manager and Mandy comes over. I tell her what’s going on and she tells the woman the same thing I did, but that she could also try asking the higher up manager, Jim. She goes back into the office and talks to him for a minute. When Mandy comes back out, she tells the woman that Jim said the same thing. Then the woman says "You know what? Just get your manager out here so I can argue with him. Fuck going back and forth." So Mandy goes back to the office and says "HEY JIM! She wants to argue with you!"
Jim was taking a few minutes because the store was very very busy, so I asked the woman if she’d like me to start ringing out her other order because Jim was going to be a minute so we weren’t both just standing there. To this she replied "No, because if you can’t do this for me, I’m not fucking getting anything!" Jim comes out and starts talking to her. I could tell by his face that he was thinking about just doing it for her, but she obviously couldn’t tell because while he was trying to explain that WIC is state governed, so they’re not his rules at all, they’re WIC rules, and that the tiniest thing will make them not reimburse the store [like, if the date on the check is wrong they wont pay us,] she starts yelling at him. "I WAS FUCKING HERE LAST WEEK AND SOME GIRL FUCKING DID THIS FOR ME. BOTH THOSE FUCKING CHECKS SAY MY GOD DAMN NAME ON THEM, WHICH IS ON MY LICENSE, WITH MY FUCKING PICTURE ON IT. YOU KNOW IT’S ME. WHY DID MY CHECKS GET TAKEN LAST WEEK AND NOW YOU WONT FUCKING DO IT?!?"  After that outburst I could see his lips tighten and his eyes go from understanding to hard and I knew there was no way in hell he’d take this woman’s checks now. He told her one more time "I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you."
So she storms out, but she left her checks on the lane along with all of her shit. Jim puts them on the service desk and goes to get a cart to put all of her shit in to return it to it’s proper places. When he gets back, she comes back in and says "I want my checks back NOW." He tells her where they are and after she picked them up she says "I want to see you talk to the girl that put the c

hecks through for me last week and tell her she fucked up." So Jim says "There’s no reason to swear." And she starts SCREAMING "I WANT YOU TO FUCKING TELL HER SHE FUCKED UP AND THAT MY KID CAN’T EAT TONIGHT AND SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT. NOW, I WANT TO SEE YOU GO TALK TO HER NOW!" so he answers "There’s no need to cause a scene." So she started stomping her feet and jumping up and down [with her child in her arms, mind you,] and yelling "I’m causing a fucking scene RIGHT NOW!"
…I had to actually turn my head away and literally bite my tongue to keep from laughing at her. Once she stormed out, almost all the cashiers started laughing. Now every time I go into work I tell them "I’m here to cause a scene."

God I love working with people sometimes.