Day 30: Your Highs and Lows for the Month

I think it is safe to say that Saturday day was my high for the month…

Going looking at cars with my husband and then booking for my first tattoo…we were just having so much fun and being our happy selves. Just going with the flow and living. There was no tension and we were in a good place.

The low was that evening and I suppose every time that he drinks. The atmosphere gets tense and I become hard and he becomes verbally abusive…which will result in my shutting down and running off to some corner or on the bed and just question life and love and marriage and myself and him and…just everything.

You it is funny how on Sunday when I confronted him about the things he said and what happened on Saturday night he couldn’t remember what happened and when I told him he goes off and tries to validate it and explain what he meant….like why does he think that I will listen to him when he is drunk and take him seriously.

I keep pushing about how he needs to see someone and he just brushes it off and goes on about how he will and how he is serious about seeing someone…but then if that is the case why hasn’t he actually said about any pending appointments or something. I have even told him to ask my psych for a reference to any psychs.