In Love

OK so here’s the thing…

I love Luke.. I mean I don’t just like him, not just love him but deeply IN love with him. I saw a sad faced pic he sent me last night as i hadn’t spoken to him much and it just dawned on me just how much I love the guy… it upsets me when he’s upset.

It worries me that I’m so in love with him now and that maybe he isn’t as in love with me as I am with him. Certainly how it comes across that’s for sure.. that does worry me a little

I made a decision to back away a little and I told him this the other night. He wasn’t sure at all about it but is going along with it anyway.

Communication is our biggest problem ie he doesn’t do much of it but I found out the other day he does communicate with his friends through all sorts of other channels which I’m not a part of and despite telling him that it made me feel like an outsider, not truly part of his world he hasn’t made any effort to change things. It’s made me back away more…

During the week I can’t easily see him so I’ve made the choice to distance myself from him a little ie not respond t his text’s the second I get them and not message him so much if at all during the day. In the evenings I’m pretty much leaving him too it as well (apart from our bedtime call)

I have to break the dependency from him and get my own mind back. The danger of course is that I step back to far and stop caring.

The evenings now for me are weird…. It feels like we’re just two separate people that become a couple at weekends. It’s almost like I’m time sharing him with his flatmate (this isn’t the case, it just feels like it)

I shall have to find a balance and make it work….

Free hugz to all

Bearcub