Farewell 2005

Another year passes by. Is this supposed to be a time for reflection. I’m not entirely sure. I sit an ponder how many more new years eve’s I’m going to have to endure in my lifetime. Am I the only young person sitting at home reading cocktail books on new years eve? Does the fact that I’m wearing an old t-shirt and trachsuit pants bother you? In a way it bothers me. But then I think about how much I hate new years parties. They’re long. They’re messy. You stay up much too late and Maccas just isn’t open early enough on new years day.

I’m quite content to curl up and watch a dvd on new years eve. I’m fine with that. Its just the obligation that I sence, to be out having drinks with my friends. I was though… until Jacqui went and fractures her eye socket. I KNOW! Elbows to the face are not friendly things.

So we watched a DVD.. and it’s not the new year yet. The Notebook is a beautiful movie. I haven’t cried so much during a movie in a long time. Its sad. And made me think a bit too. Are the decisions we make in life the right ones? You have to hope so. Hold on to what your heart tells you and you will be fine. I guess that’s the message. I’m ok with that. Russell and I are embarking on our 5th year together. Although my heart is never completly sure that this is the right decision, I need to trust that it is.

So here it is. 11pm. I’m heading off to bed. But I’ll be awake for the new year. I may not be counting down the seconds, but I’ll be awake. My mind will be on other things. But I’ll be here. Seeing the new year in.