Gastric bypass and my downhill spiral

Gastric bypass.  So many emotions spring to mind here.  5 years ago, I had the gastric bypass.   I cannot believe it has been that long.  At my highest weight I weighed 410 pounds.   I cannot believe that I had gotten myself to that point.  Pre-diabetic and on high blood pressure medication, I made that decision.   It was not an easy way out.  I really feel like that people who think this way, yeah, they are entitled to their own opinions.  However, it was not the easy way out for me.  We all have our journey in life.  Everyone is different.   I went through the motions that Kaiser requires.  They make it kind of easy in that they do not expect you to lose weight.  They just expected you to maintain your original weight.  Weight gain was not acceptable for surgery.  A year of psychological, exercise, and diet classes.  Then, I was accepted for the surgery.

When doing the pre-surgery labs it was determined that I was positive for the bacteria that causes stomach ulcers.  I did the 2 week (or so) stint of  meds and was good to go.  I was not re-tested.  I am a nurse.  I should have said something and requested a follow-up before surgery.

A year after surgery, several pounds lost later, I woke up in the most intense pain I think I have ever had in my entire life.  And, I’ve had two sons.  That included labor.  I asked my husband to take me to the hospital.   His response was “Can’t you just call 911? I have to work today.” Yeah, real stand-up guy.  After a short time, he agreed to take me the hour-drive to he hospital.  He practically dropped me off at the emergency room that morning and I wasn’t even in the ER 45 minutes before I was in emergency life-saving surgery.  While my husband was getting ready for, and going to, work.

I had developed an ulcer in my “pouch” and it broke open.  Essentially, my stomach contents were eating my insides.  I was in surgery for 5.5 hours that morning.  The husband did show up after he got done with work that day.  By that time, I was already in a room in med surge.  He reluctantly lingered for maybe 15 minutes and he was gone.

I cried.  We had been having difficulties.  I already felt like he didn’t care at all anymore.  I could go on about this but not in the mood right now.  He came the next morning before heading on into work.  He pulled up a chair and stated he was not happy anymore and that he was leaving me.  It was a blow.  Very low of him.  He stayed less than 5 minutes that morning.

He did wait until I got out of the hospital.   He would pop his head in every morning before work and ask me if they were going to release me that day.  After 10 days, they finally let me go home but I had a drain tube in my abdomen that had to be there for another week.  I slept in the recliner chair after going home.

I got the tube removed a week later.  And, 10 days before our 25th anniversary, the guy I met in 3rd grade, hung out with in high school, eventually became my husband, took off without looking back.  That is another whole bajillion stories.  Maybe later.

Over 200 pounds lighter, and then some, the surgery is considered successful.   Just have to be watchful of the trading of one addiction for another.  I have not been good with this.  I started with shopping.  Amazon and other sites were my new best friends.  The husband did not allow alcohol in the house.

This brings to mind my tough childhood.  I have always been one of those people that if something is going wrong, drink.  The day I watched him drive down the driveway, with his suitcase and pillow sticking out of the back of his recently purchased used convertible, I immediately gave my neice money and told her to go purchase me some alcohol.

The surgery was successful.   It really was.  I have mixed feelings on whether to reccomend it to others.  It is a huge life-changing thing for some.  I do not regret it.  I would do it again.  I definitely caution anyone who does ask me about it.  I certainly never thought I’d find myself trying to gain weight.

But, here I am.

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June 21, 2021

This is a true horror story. Both the illness and the husband.

June 21, 2021

@bonnierose it truly was at the time.  Things have gotten better.  I did endure, thank goodness.  But that took a while.  In a somewhat better place now.

June 21, 2021

Agree with BonnieRose!

June 24, 2021

Good Riddance to be rid of the Husband. My husband has done a lot of shit things to me but one thing I can be sure of is that if I need him he will always be there for me. You deserver better than what he gave you. Sucks you spend so many years with him, but think of him as a learning curve and only greatness can now lie ahead.

I am sorry for what happened after the surgery. Glad you are doing well now, I assume. Please G-d.

Many years ago my sister had the same operation and on many occasions I have considered it myself, but it is seriously expensive and after witnessing what my sister went though I have become reluctant to go through that. But I do struggle to loose weight and because I am Morbidly Obese and have PCOS having kids is not something that is any easy activity. So here I am, soon to be 35 with a husband and no kids.

June 24, 2021

@ncumisa being able to lose weight is such a pain in the butt.  I will say this.  For me, anyway, I can lose it fairly quickly should I want but only because of the surgery.  I’m well right now, thanks.  I hope you and yours are too.  How is your sister?  Did she have major issues?  And PCOS.  I’ve actually read a lot about it and work with a lady that has it.  She has a ton of issues.  Take care 🙂

June 24, 2021

Naa my sister was just Very Overweight/Obese.

She has a Bariatric Operation. I don’t know the details. Shortly after the operation she fell pregnant with her 3rd child.

Naa I put on weight very easily and struggle to loose it.

For many years I was on the pill just so I could have a regular cycle. And then I went off it and my cycle is so not regular and I am not ovulating now. My body is just messed up!