8/30/06

The last two days have not been that great for me… I should have known that sunday was too good to be true… It seems like ever since my son turned 18 "J" has been doing everything he can to force him to move out… Rides his ass about everything, mine too for that fact.. I am truly not sure how much more i can take.. I told him as much today…. He feels the need to tell me and my son when and how to do chores , yet he never does any… Try to tell me when and how to do just about everything in the home, yet he does nothing… and i mean nothing… Don’t get me wrong my real issue is not that he does nothing , it is that he does nothing but feels the need to tell us what to do..  He gives me shit if i want to leave when he is here. Throws a fit if i read a book or get on the puter or anything that does not involve what he is doing… For the most part i just blow him off and do my own thing, however sometimes i let him know how i feel… It is just not right to boss me around in my own home…. And he has always tried with my son, now that he is 18 it seems like he is balls to the walls… There is so many times over the years i have wanted to leave ,, but i was not financially stable enough.. Not sure i can use that as an excuse anymore… I seriously pay almost every bill here  Gas, Power,Cable, Water, Garbage, Phone, Internet, House Payment, Car Payment, Cell Phone, My Credit Card ,Insurance, Not to mention( with the exception of Sunday) every product in this house i buy, So my point is basicially i can financially hang on my own, i am basically doing that now…. I beg for help all the time and get none, My checkbook is allways minus (but all bills are paid just no extra) he has thousands in the bank…. He pays House taxes and insurance, truck payment, car insurance, His Credit Card,  and that is pretty much it… Lately he has been threating to take my son’s car away almost everytime i turn around, for stupid shit like not doing the dishes or something retarded like that… "S" gets up at 4 am works till about 2 or 3 pm and then is with his gf "H" til about 10.. IN other words he was not even here to dirty a dish why should he have to do them, he will throw a fit if i try to do them when he thinks it is "S"’s turn.. Yet he never takes a turn himself… Says it’s his rent…. The sad part is my son has by far done more around this house than his lazy ass ever will… He uses his job for an excuse  (concrete finisher) says its really hard don’t feel like doing anything here… I point out that we both work yet have to do shit here… It’s like talking to a brick FUCKING wall…. I have said before and i truly mean it, if and when this relationship ends i will NOT enter another one… I know i am only 36 but it no longer seems important or worth my time, My friend "C" said today "maybe you could just get a FWB" i said "I just want a friend don’t need the benifits" I feel the happiest when i am alone sometimes anyways. Things are more peaceful, i can do what i want, when and how i want to …. And i don’t feel stupid…. you really start to feel stupid when you can’t do simple things in your home without being told how…..Karma baby, someday he will get his…… We all do …. Maybe i am getting mine now!