seperation can lead to great things

 I live in such a busy world and I often can not find the time to do all of the things that i want to do and see all of the people that i want to see.  so in order to get in all in i sometimes SMOOSH. I SMOOSH things, people, and events together. For example, in the morning before work i sometimes dont have time to eat breakfast and get ready. so, because im hungry, i eat a luna bar so that i can eat while picking out an outfit, doing my hair, etc. I do my nails while making important phone calls. I do my homework while eating dinner. and SOMETIMES when I want to see more than one of my friends but dont have the time to do both, i SMOOSH. i invite one to accompany me while I spend time with the other. usually this is a bad idea. each group of friends that i have have a distinct and different way of being. they have different senses of humor, habits, interests, histories, and inside jokes. SO when i mix friends sometimes they dont get along and it makes it very uncomfortable for me because I have to try and split myself between the two without making anyone feel neglected. Because of this i usually dont try to mix my friends too much. Now of course there is the flip side of that. WHat about introducing two of your friends and then having them like eachother so much that they completely ignore you. I love my friends and I know they love me too, but it is hard to remember that when you are in the same room and they dont even see you. or hear you. or anything you for that matter.  i have recently discovered how this side of friend SMOOSHING feels and I have decided that this is worse. when two of ur friends dont really get along or barely get along, they both fight for your attention. when your friends really like eachother they could give a flying fuck about paying u any attention.  anyway i shouldnt bitch too much. the situation is at a standstill for now. i just really hope i never ever have to live through that again. i do have to say that i kind of do it to myself. i try everything to mentally prepare myself: "relax alysha. you are not the third wheel. come on, cheer up. smile. make conversation".  But it doesnt work.  attention is my food sometimes and that day i was feeling truly anorexic. from now on friend SMOOSHING is seriously prohibited.

Anyway, that madness was just a temporary jump in my emotional obstacle course. Besides that I have actually come across a really great opportunity and change of pace for me. all summer I have been working at Starbucks which has been just fine. My friends there are great, the other baristas are really nice and once you learn how to not get frustrated it is a really fun and comfortable place to work. But i have bills and an education to finance. so i was searching on craigslist for some ideas and i found a higher paying job working for the Human Rights Campaign downtown. I start soon and i cant wait. in case you dont know the Human Rights Campaign is a grassroots campaign to help fight the proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage. SO i get to work for an issue that i care about  while making more money. so im pleased as punch … now if only i could get my act together when it comes to my transfer apps. uuugh