…Coming This Saturday
Dreaded catch up conversations with those I used to be friends with. Aries and SportLeo, potentially.
It will be more of an observational opportunity to see where they’re at. They are like everyone else we know – years behind Twin and I relationship wise. SportLeo and Aries are being dragged into adulthood. I postulate that Aries is ready; SLeo is not. Aries won’t perpetuate the behavior he saw from his father; SLeo doesn’t have the psychological tools to prepare for whats coming. I am not being fair enough to SLeo possibly; Him and his GF may have talked about children and he may be insecure about getting married because of his parents. That’s not an uncommon case for kids with divorced parents. I don’t really know, so that’s why I will just try to observe if both of them are there with their significant others.
What concerns me the most is thinking that because I’m moving back to the south-end that I would be interested in being friends. I would have to see and believe that they can relate to me as an adult rather than how I was as a teenager. I already don’t expect them to be the same, obviously. Life changes you whether you embrace that fact or not.
I know that my mom, sister would like to see things be mended with them. To my mom and my sister, I may have been pulled away from them because they’re not people who look to change proactively. In all honesty, they never returned any of my effort and I no longer care about their perspective because it is no longer applicable to my lifestyle. I gathered thats why I put in as much effort I did in the past despite that effort not being wholly or even partially reciprocated. I may be more possessive than I realize. Possessiveness can be reciprocal though whether its intended or incidental.
Other than that, not much going on. Septic inspection tomorrow which Twin and I will attend just to take measurements of the house. She made some nice drawings so we can easily write measurements on that and better figure out how much rennovations will cost.
I really like how you approach your relationships. Im learning from you a lot. I think most people in their 20’s are not as thoughtful. I know I wasnt. I never really thought about what my life would look like 10 years ahead, I just knew I wanted to be with my exhusband and our kids. If I had done that, I may have avoided a lot of pain. But I do have my kids, so… but its nice to know that
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there are people out there who do live intentionally and that I can do it too now, even if its 20 years late. LOL RYN: I think the reason I didnt document those things as they occured is b/c I am generally a VERY giving person. I love giving and doing… so when I ask you out, I pay. If I want you to come over, Im feeding you… it was when I got sick & stopped making plans to go anywhere & do
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anything, it didnt happen. & then I started thinking, wow, he never has even taken me out… & then I started thinking, Hell, he’s never even paid for anything… & then when he got sick & got himself medicine & didnt offer to get me any, despite how good and nice I was to him, I realized, this is all one sided. and I got bitter. It’s that crazy hindsight vision.
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It’s really sad when you out grow people from your past, but it happens all the time and it really can’t be helped. *sad lil’ frown* Instead of your mom and sister being upset about you pulling away from those two, they should be proud of *YOU* for the steps you’ve taken to keep moving forward in life, steps that apparently they haven’t made it up to yet. But who knows…maybe one or both of them will surprise you when you do catch up with them. It’s always possible… RYN: As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. You might think you would have been better off not having been so sheltered. And I might wish that I had been sheltered. But neither one of us is really in the position to know all the pros and cons of both sides…only our own. I hope the weekend goes well for you. Take good care.
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I hope all goes well this week-end for you! And good luck on the inspection!
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ryn: I know it’s a process, and it probably won’t be the last house we’ll fall in love with but not get. It’s fine đŸ™‚ Lol I know, I won’t be watching cause I’ll be cheering on Portland playing against Gotham City (New york) but I’ve been loving the picture the Timbers posted: http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=10150981734482236&set=a.268733432235.145422.182844932235&type=3&theater
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