Friday Bullet Points
– We walked away from our offer. Twin forwarded the bid information to the broker, and came back with a mortgage of 1,299. That’s a bit too much for us. The hardest thing for me to do sometimes is to stand up and be practical/pragmatic with Twin. She doesn’t daydream about much, but she loved just about everything to that house and was justifying the scenario in which we moved in. I told her that we don’t want to be stretched finanically; we lose our independence, we become bound to 4 walls and that becomes maddening, we won’t be able to buy gifts (again) for holidays, and save for eventual travel and will have to increase spending on transportation. I thanked her for coming down knowing it had to be hard to let go of something she really wanted.
– We did find some other houses, 140k is our new maximum. Its going to take some work, but we can justify a house evolving just as we have as people.
– We bought a Yoga ball a week or two ago, and so I inflated it last night and played Skyrim while sitting on that. That was fun. I was launching dual-casted Thunderbolt spells at anything in my path, taking virtually no damage, and alternating between putting my legs in a wide stance and narrow stance (narrow stance helping to build my core) and then trying to keep my posture in check. A strong core is going to help me with my kayaking. I also used the ball this morning to do feet-elevated push-ups, sit-ups in addition to cobra, downward dog, triangle, and warrior poses. My ride up the hill is SO MUCH EASIER if I stretch properly before.
– BGem informed me last night that he’s cancelling his birthday BBQ because a lot of people weren’t going to be able to make it to his house, and his fiancee was still recovering from a surgery. I asked what she had done, and she had her tubes tied. WHOA. She has a genetic condition where her body rejects high-fat foods and I guess a complication from this condition make it dangerous to carry a child and its birth. That has to be tough…
And to elaborate how tough that would be… I dated a girl for a few days. It turned out she had a condition where she didn’t have appropriate lubrication or padding in her knees. Due to that, she wasn’t very active and it was hereditary. That factored into my decision to move on. You can villianize me for being judgmental and that’s one instance where I was, but I was an active, fun loving person and obviously staying with her wouldn’t allow me to be who I am. In addition to that, when I did break up with her she and a friend of hers spent hours chewing me out in an online instant messaging conversation.
I just hoped they talked about the possibility of children before they committed to one another. Twin and I are always suspicious of other couples doing that because in our exerpiences no one was as open as we were about those sorts of things. We covered in one weekend what others take months to do.
– I get to meet a new Leo this weekend, it should be interesting. I forget the actual date, I think its 08/08. That decan of Leo is probably the most progressive one being a Leo II/Sagittarius. (mutable quality). I don’t know enough about him to give him a code name. I do well with Leos, though typically get along best with Aries. Twin does okay with Leos too, though we know well that Leo III/Aries tend to backstab her.
Not much else to say. I’m doing some more research on Strauss-Howe generational theory. The revelation I came across yesterday is the Baby Boom Generation being split into two sections, Post-War Generation and Jones Generation. One grew up and identified with events in the 60’s, the the other the 70’s. This sets back the start time of Gen X. I also think that there may be a divide amongst Millenials. Those who will have found jobs before the Economic Crisis and identify with late-90’s/early 00’s pop-culture and those who were are more directly affected by the crisis and mid to late 00’s pop culture. Unfortunately, since I’m not attending university my ability to look at birth rates and other pertinent statistics is limited.
sorry about the house, but $1300/month is a huge commitment especially since you are still doing temp jobs. Since you two aren’t as materialistic as far as decorations go, a smaller house would probably be more beneficial in the long run. So long as there is room for your kayaks 🙂
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Being house poor sucks! I was there when I tried to save my house from foreclosure (after the divorce), but letting it go was one of the best things I could have done for me & the kids. You are right about those talks with possible mates. & you were right to move on, if you knew that the knee problem girl wouldnt fit into your lifestyle. I have said in my entries I can NOT be with someone
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who is not active. It’s too much a major part of my life.
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RYN: oh yeah, we have discussed our exes. We both have been through divorce, and he knows my exhusband. I also told him about Preston and that I went through significant heart ache with him. I felt it was only fair he knew and if he asks about it I tell him what he wants to know, to a degree. I like to be forward and up front b/c I like to be me.
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I know how you feel about the house/mortgage. We just found out our payment is going to be like $1320. We sorta agreed that we could deal with anything less then $1350 and still have ample room to pay down some more debt and save a bit. Its a huge commitment for sure. We are probably putting off kids for now because of it….
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…which brings up the next point of my note. I think its really important once you are serious with eachother to discuss your hopes and dreams for the future like you did with your wife. We did as well…and you never can get too in depth when figuring out where your at with things like that. We thought we had it planned out…turns out we had to realistically have a 2nd conversation about it
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So sorry about the house, that sucks. $1300 a month is a lot, my house is only 1/3 of that thanks to it being foreclosed on so we got a great deal. I’m sure you guys will too, it just takes some time. Good luck!
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That really sucks about the house, especially for Twin, but it really does sound like y’all made the right decision. One of the biggest mistakes people make is taking on a house that is just too expensive. Just because she’s had her tubes tied doesn’t mean they can’t have children if they want them. There is always adoption and it is a great option for so many reasons… As someone who has literally put her life at risk for just the CHANCE to have a child biologically, I have to say, I greatly respect her for the decision she made. She’s the smart one and I’m the dumb one and I know it. :/ Hope you have a great weekend!
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I’m so sorry about the house! I know it’s disappointing but I’m sure it’s the right decision. We got in problems due to having a house that costs us too much. We’re okay now but we sure had a lot of months of struggling and every day we were hoping we’d have money to buy food. Never again will I make the decision that a house is worth every penny I earn. Being dependant and being able to buy food
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gifts, going on holidays, etc. is priceless. It gives you the opportunity to enjoy life! So I believe you’ve made the right decision. With re to the girl; you’re totally right to move on. You should be with someone where you can be yourself. If you’re active and the other is not, no matter what the reason, you should move on. That may be hard for the other person, but it’s so understandable!!
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Very tough decision the girl made who got her tubes tied. Very emotional that must be! #respect! We have talked about dreams and hopes in our first 2 dates. We both just wanted things cleared out before we even dated further on LOL.. I told him about my pcos, that I can’t probably have children. Or that if I will, it will be difficult. He told me that he would love to have children, but never on
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the cost of the life of the person he would love enough to be the mother of his children. He still tells me now that he loves me so much that if it means we’ll never have children, he’s ok with that, even though he wants them. But I agree that it’s important to discuss that before you get serious as a couple!
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Our mortgage isn’t too bad. It’s $1,080 a months and this is a $350,000 house. We put $68,000 down when we bought it though otherwise it would have been higher. Omg I LOVE LOVE LOVE Yoga balls!! They’re so good for you AND they’re fun hahaha ryn: yeah but you wont ONLY want your dog to enjoy the fresh air on walks. lol Maybe it’s because we have kids who like to play barefootin the back yard. Sometimes they are out there with Thor and the thought of him pooping and no one catching him do it.. then the kids stepping in it just crawls under my skin hahaha
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RYN: The swimming didn’t cause any pain. It just relieved all the pain I was in. One of the major sources of pain for me is pressure. Water relieves the pressure. The problem is when I get out of the water all that pressure comes rushing back, causing a surge of pain.
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ryn: haha, ya i choose not to drink to the point of puking any longer. i dont’ think my body can take it and i don’t like the idea of basically losing days of my life to being hung over. ick. i think i would like to be around your drunk-wife, haha, i think astrological ramblings can be rather interesting and i enjoy talking about people who are knowledgeable about it. sounds like itsa blessing in disguise that you two decided to walk away from that offer. D and I had to make the same choice during our house hunt. It was hard to give up the dream but as we all know, financial situations can change quickly and it would be dreadful to be so stressed about paying a mortgage and not being able to enjoy the rest of your life and do other things like vacation or upgrades, etc. i cant’ imagine having my tubes tied at this point in my life. even if i never actually have kids, i like having the possibility there. sounds like a really tough decision for her though.
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i think being prudent and pragmatic is important in our choice making approach to things. Sorry you had to walk away but losing flexibility does suck. I am sure you will eventually find the golden mean. best wishes.
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