Sorting Out Some Current Thoughts

Now that Rammstein has passed, and there’s a battery of birthdays coming up, graduations and potentially closing on a house I have a little bit to sort out. A majority of the sorting has already taken place in a long, rambling e-mail to Twin so this really is an attempt at finalizing concerns and coming up with a plan of action.

Our broker notified us that one bank they use won’t lend on a Planned Developmen Manufacture Home, so he’s trying another. Twin asked what we could get pre-approved for and that came out to be $190,000. That’s more than we’d aim for, which is <$150,000. Twin already has found a house that seems like just about everything we want at $135,000. I originally have some anxiety because thats more than double the price of the house we really want, $65,000.

In a way, I feel like A. I’m about to violate some of my morals and B. I’m feeling a little helpless. Working in the accounting part of healthcare is proving to be quite a challenge, and not one I’m prepared for ahead of time. I love being prepared for everything/ I hate surprises. I’m getting tension headaches and that’s indicative of being overwhelmed and innefficient because I’m eating enough, drinking enough water and getting away from the computer screen often on breaks. To get to the point:
A. Commuting by car is way easier than Mass Transit options. Unfortunately, our car only gets 25 MPG all-freeway driving. We may not have the money soon enough to buy a more fuel-efficient, used car. I will also note that I have only at one point in my life commuted more than 30 minutes each way. I would love to get a job that’s closer, but that’s proving to be difficult.
B. That leads to helplessness. I’m temporarily regretting some past decisions to delay schooling and not get myself to a point where I could be the bread-winner between Twin and I. We both put a lot of equity into the fact she was a career-oriented woman getting a BA degree. We joked that I would be a stay-at-home dad. Heh, well… I don’t think that’s going to happen anymore. I have a proven track record to be a reliable employee who’s professional and likes a challenge. I’ll temper that a bit now and say I like challenges I feel prepared for. Analyzing denial letters on insurance claims – i’m not prepared for. Learning how to ski I was prepared for.

That may be it in a nutshell. I am working to enroll at Washington Governors University (WGU) for their school of business for a BA in Accounting. Its a non-profit, all-online university education. I know for a fact I learn well in online classes. The degree is also competentcy based, which means on average people finish a 4 year degree in 2 and its "all you can eat" classes rather than designated credit hours. Sounds like the perfect place for a self-motivated, independent individual like myself. Although I dislike having to possibly take on some student-loan debt to do this, I may have to.

Its time for me to get tough with myself and stand up rather than hiding behind Twin and her drive. I was able to provide support for her to finish her degree, now she’s expecting to do the same for me and its time for me to be ready to do that.