It only hurts when I laugh

It was finally my turn. I avoided this respiratory bug at work and home for weeks but it finally caught up to me Friday night. It felt like the asthma attacks of my youth, fighting for breath through my tightening lungs, the wheezing, a cacophony of sad, taut, wet notes over my inflamed airways. I slept fitfully for an entire day, ate little and felt confused and cold. Today, I am feeling better, got up to shower and feed the animals, watched TV between dozing but still feeling wobbly and weak. My sides ache from coughing so hard. It hurts when I laugh.

S succumbed earlier in the week so N postponed coming to visit for a few days. And we are on the fence about Christmas Eve plans which have already been scaled back. I feel kind of numb about Christmas right now. Partially because I’m feeling sick, partially because I hate the preparation and the expectation that goes with it. I feel excited about having N and R here and about seeing my siblings later on.

I don’t know what to think about OD. I like the friendships forged here and the wise and funny words I read and the joys and pains of being a part of any community, even one as virtual as this. Anyone who wants to reach me can, my email address is on my homepage (for as long as you can get to it). But even without this forum, I still feel your vibrations out there, your unique energies and colors forming the very richness of this old world. You keep it alive.